Intrepid Dater Pillows

Valentines Day.

"Actually, I'm not long back on the dating scene myself."

On my list of outdoor pursuits I put skinny dipping way ahead of this.

He was a nerd. But he was her nerd.

'Next, time, we'll meet at my place.'

"It's an app that lets me know when I'm bored."

Waterfall of Disappointment

"She says you sound like 'fun'!"

"I'm not very good at sex, but what do you say to eight hours uproarious sleep?"

Single men in Tahiti

'Don't even think about it!'

"Wanna do lunch?"

Sinlge-white-male seeking single-female who enjoys, silence, long long walks, and scorpions.

Here's one for you... she likes long lurches in the moonlight, scared of fire... enjoys terrorizing villages...

'Romance-minded clown in hot pursuit of woman'

"I like anything but long walks on the beach."

'But how can we be sure the dating service didn't make a mistake?'

Spud dating.

"You can come in. But don't try anything funny."

'I didn't know people still played footsie.'

'Single Heating and Cooling technician in search of intelligent, attractive woman. Send picture of your furnace & AC.'

"I'm a fancier of dogs and interesting men."

'But enough about my interiority, how about you?'

'You must be Olivia.'

"So tell me again where you're from."

'When I said in my on-line profile that I was athletic, I meant that I like watching sports!'

'Are you ready to be the winners?'

"In a world of beefcake, I'm dating tofu."

At Saltwater Sweeties Dating Service

"Damn. The minute I eat a stink bug, in walks Mr. Wonderful!..."

Ventrilamatch.com

"I have two children from a previous economic cycle."

"You're all arms Rodney."