Unconventional Dater Pillows

"Wow, you can see so many better dates from up here."

"Been lookin' for love in all the wrong carnivals."

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

On my list of outdoor pursuits I put skinny dipping way ahead of this.

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

"How sweet, your hand is trembling."

'Next, time, we'll meet at my place.'

"And I never kiss in the first two seconds."

"We have to stop meeting like this – people are starting to talk ‘psychiatric ward.’"

'I'm sorry, Jason. I don't date anyone new until I've googled them.'

"She says you sound like 'fun'!"

"I thought you did a great job with your gender neutral statements ... There will be a second date."

"Sorry, had to barf real quick... so where were we?"

'Would you like to come in for a rejection?'

"This isn't working. We have nothing in common."

'Let's do lunch.'

"I'm not very good at sex, but what do you say to eight hours uproarious sleep?"

Single men in Tahiti

"Don't worry, I'm a doctor."

"I've become so good at dating—relationships that used to take months now last a matter of days."

"Wanna do lunch?"

"Here she is, the girl of my dreams! We're in love and we're going to get married! And she's made out of boxes!"

I'm looking at photos of potential dates here. Your "screening" process.

Sinlge-white-male seeking single-female who enjoys, silence, long long walks, and scorpions.

Spud dating.

"Nothing - he's ghosting you."

"I like anything but long walks on the beach."

'Romance-minded clown in hot pursuit of woman'

"Tell your date you're a vegetarian before he orders that expensive gourmet dinner."

Here's one for you... she likes long lurches in the moonlight, scared of fire... enjoys terrorizing villages...

'But how can we be sure the dating service didn't make a mistake?'

'I didn't know people still played footsie.'

'She won't even look at me. It's like I'm a banner ad.'

'Single Heating and Cooling technician in search of intelligent, attractive woman. Send picture of your furnace & AC.'

Cupid gives up trying to get cell phone-using couple together.