Quirky Dater Pillows

'Single Heating and Cooling technician in search of intelligent, attractive woman. Send picture of your furnace & AC.'

"I don't take off the mask until the third date."

"In a world of beefcake, I'm dating tofu."

'You must be Olivia.'

'Not only must she love dogs, but she must hate cats.'

'You treat me like a fool, I like that in a woman.'

Here's one for you... she likes long lurches in the moonlight, scared of fire... enjoys terrorizing villages...

"Number 3. Ask him if he'd be willing to go out with me."

On my list of outdoor pursuits I put skinny dipping way ahead of this.

'Are you ready to be the winners?'

'His idea of a hot date is going to see the nutcracker!'

At Saltwater Sweeties Dating Service

"I posted dozens of cat pictures on social media to meet women. Then one dated me and ran off with my cat."

"I like anything but long walks on the beach."

"Whadda ya think? I really fancy the cute one."

"I may not be the sexiest catch, but I sure can get you access the road safely."

"Would you consider yourself creamy or crunchy?"

'Romance-minded clown in hot pursuit of woman'

Less Popular Dating Sites

'You're not really my type of girl - My type are usually over the hill old hags!'

"How about we chill out at my place with a bottle of Mateus Rose listening to my vinyl seventy eights?"

"Damn. The minute I eat a stink bug, in walks Mr. Wonderful!..."

"You seem to know a lot about ants."

"So tell me again where you're from."

'Your online profile said you like long winter nights, group gatherings and raw seafood.'

"I hate following behind Medusa at these things."

"I'm not very good at sex, but what do you say to eight hours uproarious sleep?"

"She says you sound like 'fun'!"

"You grew up in a lab, too, Sylvia?"

"I'm a fancier of dogs and interesting men."

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

"Oh, God, no, please, no, God, no..."

Carbon Dating.

'All I want for Valentine's Day is a Greek fisherman's cap.'

"How sweet, your hand is trembling."