Quirky Matchmaker Pillows

"Here's one - 'Few-bricks-short-of-a-load seeks One-our-out-of-the-water.'."

"Here we match people by their hatreds. It's a much stronger bond."

"Oh, God, no, please, no, God, no..."

'We found the perfect match for you -- She voted for Ralph Nader and she drives a Yugo!'

'Aunt Val's pretty cool. . . Kind of hot actually. . . for an older lady.'

"Okay. So, apart from being a very shy ventriloquist, is there anything else you can tell me about him?"

On my list of outdoor pursuits I put skinny dipping way ahead of this.

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

Asking out a palm reader.

"She says you sound like 'fun'!"

"I'm not very good at sex, but what do you say to eight hours uproarious sleep?"

Woman finds sensitive mechanic to date.

'You're a water sign and I'm an earth sign. . .Together we're mud.'

"Well, Arnold, it's been fun."

'Romance-minded clown in hot pursuit of woman'

Here's one for you... she likes long lurches in the moonlight, scared of fire... enjoys terrorizing villages...

"I like anything but long walks on the beach."

"I did warn you. Mum can take her time warming to a new boyfriend."

"Of all the finger-painting classes in all the day-care centers in all the world, you had to walk into mine."

'Single Heating and Cooling technician in search of intelligent, attractive woman. Send picture of your furnace & AC.'

'Okay, this time we'll try for someone with a really good sense of humour.'

'Mandy is playing cupid again!'

'You must be Olivia.'

"So tell me again where you're from."

"I'm a fancier of dogs and interesting men."

Witch in bed reading: 'The Joy of Hex'.

"Would you consider yourself creamy or crunchy?"

'Well. I gotta admit, she did say in her profile that she's an old-fashioned girl!'

A dog cupid flies an arrow after a dog jumping on a random man's leg.

"I'm steelbuns 1995, you must be teen angle 1999."

"Having a dog is great for meeting more dogs."

"Damn. The minute I eat a stink bug, in walks Mr. Wonderful!..."

'Are you ready to be the winners?'

"In a world of beefcake, I'm dating tofu."

At Saltwater Sweeties Dating Service