Mischievous Matchmakers Pillows

'Do I know you?'

"Oh, God, no, please, no, God, no..."

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

Asking out a palm reader.

'Jane, cancel all my appointments for the rest of the week.'

"From the gentleman at the end of the bar. Again."

They knew they were made for each other when their eyes met from across the room at the Same Socks Bar,

'You're a water sign and I'm an earth sign. . .Together we're mud.'

"'Single'? With this kind of income? Oh, have I got a dependant for you!"

"I did warn you. Mum can take her time warming to a new boyfriend."

"Of all the finger-painting classes in all the day-care centers in all the world, you had to walk into mine."

"Here's one - 'Few-bricks-short-of-a-load seeks One-our-out-of-the-water.'."

'Aunt Val's pretty cool. . . Kind of hot actually. . . for an older lady.'

"I'm sure you will be very happy together."

'I'm afraid we don't have any gentlemen on hand right now -- how about a good old boy?'

'Okay, this time we'll try for someone with a really good sense of humour.'

"Okay. So, apart from being a very shy ventriloquist, is there anything else you can tell me about him?"

"I'm not looking for Mr.Right, Just Mr. Swipe-right!"

Cupid's converge on a bachelor.

'Mandy is playing cupid again!'

'No need to put my details in darlin'... You're the girl for me!'

"Having a dog is great for meeting more dogs."

"You want to see me, Boss?"

A dog cupid flies an arrow after a dog jumping on a random man's leg.

"I'm steelbuns 1995, you must be teen angle 1999."

The Adventures of Morton :This has been my best first date ever...Sooo, what about our plans for the future? YOu know, marriage, kids?...Tell me if I move too fast, okay?

Soulmates.

COMPUTER DATING SERVICE, 'How about a nice fixer-upper?'

'You've been matched with a pub in Wigan' (to a man at a dating agency).

'Anyone for doubles?'

"Here we match people by their hatreds. It's a much stronger bond."

"Okay sir.I've fed your personal profile into the computer,and your ideal partner should look something like..."

'That's amazing. According to the computer, I'm your perfect match!'

'Fortysomething. Is that your age or waist size?'

'I always give the shy guys a 'booster shot'.'