Mischievous Matchmakers Gifts

'Do I know you?'

"Oh, God, no, please, no, God, no..."

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

Asking out a palm reader.

'Jane, cancel all my appointments for the rest of the week.'

"From the gentleman at the end of the bar. Again."

They knew they were made for each other when their eyes met from across the room at the Same Socks Bar,

'You're a water sign and I'm an earth sign. . .Together we're mud.'

Lonely Hearts Dating Agency - "Mmm he's a bit of a dish."

"'Single'? With this kind of income? Oh, have I got a dependant for you!"

"Of all the finger-painting classes in all the day-care centers in all the world, you had to walk into mine."

"I did warn you. Mum can take her time warming to a new boyfriend."

"Here's one - 'Few-bricks-short-of-a-load seeks One-our-out-of-the-water.'."

'Aunt Val's pretty cool. . . Kind of hot actually. . . for an older lady.'

"I'm sure you will be very happy together."

"I'm not looking for Mr.Right, Just Mr. Swipe-right!"

"Okay. So, apart from being a very shy ventriloquist, is there anything else you can tell me about him?"

'Okay, this time we'll try for someone with a really good sense of humour.'

Cupid's converge on a bachelor.

'I'm afraid we don't have any gentlemen on hand right now -- how about a good old boy?'

'Mandy is playing cupid again!'

"Having a dog is great for meeting more dogs."

'No need to put my details in darlin'... You're the girl for me!'

"I'm steelbuns 1995, you must be teen angle 1999."

"You want to see me, Boss?"

A dog cupid flies an arrow after a dog jumping on a random man's leg.

The Adventures of Morton :This has been my best first date ever...Sooo, what about our plans for the future? YOu know, marriage, kids?...Tell me if I move too fast, okay?

COMPUTER DATING SERVICE, 'How about a nice fixer-upper?'

Soulmates.

'You've been matched with a pub in Wigan' (to a man at a dating agency).

'Anyone for doubles?'

"Here we match people by their hatreds. It's a much stronger bond."

"Okay sir.I've fed your personal profile into the computer,and your ideal partner should look something like..."

'That's amazing. According to the computer, I'm your perfect match!'

'I always give the shy guys a 'booster shot'.'