Quirky Matchmakers Gifts

"Okay sir.I've fed your personal profile into the computer,and your ideal partner should look something like..."

"Oh, God, no, please, no, God, no..."

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

Asking out a palm reader.

'Next, time, we'll meet at my place.'

"That whole internet dating thing....It killed me, I tell ya."

Today's love

'Okay, but not in person -- I prefer on-line dating.'

"It must have been fate that brought us together."

They knew they were made for each other when their eyes met from across the room at the Same Socks Bar,

'You're a water sign and I'm an earth sign. . .Together we're mud.'

"'Single'? With this kind of income? Oh, have I got a dependant for you!"

Lonely Hearts Dating Agency - "Mmm he's a bit of a dish."

"Of all the finger-painting classes in all the day-care centers in all the world, you had to walk into mine."

"I did warn you. Mum can take her time warming to a new boyfriend."

Spud dating.

"Here's one - 'Few-bricks-short-of-a-load seeks One-our-out-of-the-water.'."

"I'm not looking for Mr.Right, Just Mr. Swipe-right!"

'I'm afraid we don't have any gentlemen on hand right now -- how about a good old boy?'

'Aunt Val's pretty cool. . . Kind of hot actually. . . for an older lady.'

"Okay. So, apart from being a very shy ventriloquist, is there anything else you can tell me about him?"

"I'm sure you will be very happy together."

Florist. You're taking your new girlfriend to the aviary for Valentine's Day? Yes -- It's a cheap date.

'Mandy is playing cupid again!'

"On my dating website it said would be the perfect match."

'For those who the internet hath brought together, let no man put asunder...'

A dog cupid flies an arrow after a dog jumping on a random man's leg.

"Having a dog is great for meeting more dogs."

"I'm steelbuns 1995, you must be teen angle 1999."

"You want to see me, Boss?"

Ventrilamatch.com

The Adventures of Morton :This has been my best first date ever...Sooo, what about our plans for the future? YOu know, marriage, kids?...Tell me if I move too fast, okay?

"I've never dated a yam before, tell me a bit about yourself."

Soulmates.

"We were two ships that passed in the night for a couple of nights in a row."