Matchmaker Mischief Pillows

"From the gentleman at the end of the bar. Again."

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

"Oh, God, no, please, no, God, no..."

"Sure, it's more efficient. But I still miss shooting the arrows."

"And there was I thinking you'd been Beta tested."

"Have you tried carbon dating?"

"When the dating agency said you were full of beans..."

They knew they were made for each other when their eyes met from across the room at the Same Socks Bar,

'Sir, you wanted an affectionate date capable of long term friendship...you said nothing about being allergic to fleas.'

Real Estate Personals

"She says you sound like 'fun'!"

"I don' want another weather forcaster - they're too unpredictable."

Acme Dating Service

"Men just won't leave me alone!"

"...and if anyone here suspects that the algorithm that put these two together might be flawed, speak now..."

'Top is right! He's a scaffolder working on a tower block'

Match maker

"AI can now scan dating sites and find your best match."

"'Single'? With this kind of income? Oh, have I got a dependant for you!"

Ref shows footballer green card.

"Of all the finger-painting classes in all the day-care centers in all the world, you had to walk into mine."

"Nothing works with this guy. Would you like us to shoot the pool guy?"

Sidekick speed matching service.

Carbon Dating Agency

"Ironically, I think I'm experiencing job burn out!"

Body language interpreters - "He likes you and wishes to dance with you." "That's a get lost."

"Here's one - 'Few-bricks-short-of-a-load seeks One-our-out-of-the-water.'."

"Okay. So, apart from being a very shy ventriloquist, is there anything else you can tell me about him?"

'I'm afraid we don't have any gentlemen on hand right now -- how about a good old boy?'

"I'm not looking for Mr.Right, Just Mr. Swipe-right!"

'Mandy is playing cupid again!'

"The preacher's wife needs a new hobby."

'Aunt Val's pretty cool. . . Kind of hot actually. . . for an older lady.'

"I don't believe you can't get close to anyone, Mr Jones. Get back over your own side."

'Okay, this time we'll try for someone with a really good sense of humour.'