Matchmaker Fan Pillows

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

"Sure, it's more efficient. But I still miss shooting the arrows."

"And there was I thinking you'd been Beta tested."

'Don't let the photo put you off, it was taken when he was under the spell of a wicked witch.'

"Have you tried carbon dating?"

"Here's one, Matey! 'Must Love Parrots.'"

'Jane, cancel all my appointments for the rest of the week.'

"When the dating agency said you were full of beans..."

"She says you sound like 'fun'!"

"From the gentleman at the end of the bar. Again."

'Sir, you wanted an affectionate date capable of long term friendship...you said nothing about being allergic to fleas.'

They knew they were made for each other when their eyes met from across the room at the Same Socks Bar,

'Fred, don't you think you're over doing it a bit?'

"I don' want another weather forcaster - they're too unpredictable."

"Men just won't leave me alone!"

Acme Dating Service

'The Cup Final's just starting-think I should wake him?'

"...and if anyone here suspects that the algorithm that put these two together might be flawed, speak now..."

'Top is right! He's a scaffolder working on a tower block'

"'Single'? With this kind of income? Oh, have I got a dependant for you!"

"AI can now scan dating sites and find your best match."

Match maker

"Nothing works with this guy. Would you like us to shoot the pool guy?"

"Ironically, I think I'm experiencing job burn out!"

Sidekick speed matching service.

'But how can we be sure the dating service didn't make a mistake?'

Body language interpreters - "He likes you and wishes to dance with you." "That's a get lost."

'Aunt Val's pretty cool. . . Kind of hot actually. . . for an older lady.'

'I'm afraid we don't have any gentlemen on hand right now -- how about a good old boy?'

Cupid's converge on a bachelor.

"I don't believe you can't get close to anyone, Mr Jones. Get back over your own side."

Elderly spinster commenting on a marriage

"I'm not looking for Mr.Right, Just Mr. Swipe-right!"

"The preacher's wife needs a new hobby."

'Are you fit, attractive male...?'