Matchmaker Admirer Pillows

"I want a man who's tall, dark and facing deportation."

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

"Sure, it's more efficient. But I still miss shooting the arrows."

"And there was I thinking you'd been Beta tested."

'Don't let the photo put you off, it was taken when he was under the spell of a wicked witch.'

"Have you tried carbon dating?"

"Here's one, Matey! 'Must Love Parrots.'"

'Jane, cancel all my appointments for the rest of the week.'

"When the dating agency said you were full of beans..."

'Fred, don't you think you're over doing it a bit?'

'Sir, you wanted an affectionate date capable of long term friendship...you said nothing about being allergic to fleas.'

They knew they were made for each other when their eyes met from across the room at the Same Socks Bar,

"She says you sound like 'fun'!"

"I don' want another weather forcaster - they're too unpredictable."

Acme Dating Service

"Men just won't leave me alone!"

"...and if anyone here suspects that the algorithm that put these two together might be flawed, speak now..."

'Top is right! He's a scaffolder working on a tower block'

"'Single'? With this kind of income? Oh, have I got a dependant for you!"

"AI can now scan dating sites and find your best match."

Match maker

'But how can we be sure the dating service didn't make a mistake?'

"I did warn you. Mum can take her time warming to a new boyfriend."

Sidekick speed matching service.

Carbon Dating Agency

"Ironically, I think I'm experiencing job burn out!"

"Nothing works with this guy. Would you like us to shoot the pool guy?"

Body language interpreters - "He likes you and wishes to dance with you." "That's a get lost."

"Trying to auction me won't work!"

"The preacher's wife needs a new hobby."

"I'm not looking for Mr.Right, Just Mr. Swipe-right!"

Cupid's converge on a bachelor.

"I'm sure you will be very happy together."

'Are you fit, attractive male...?'

'Aunt Val's pretty cool. . . Kind of hot actually. . . for an older lady.'