Matchmaking Enthusiasts Pillows

'I don't care how many arrows you use. It's not going to work with this guy. So beat it, you little brat.'

'A man in uniform? Well we've got two Park-Keepers, six Traffic-Wardens and a Deck-Chair Attendant' (at a dating agency).

'Hello? Help me out here. Would it kill you to show a little interest?'

Ventrilamatch.com

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

"Oh, God, no, please, no, God, no..."

"You don't know me well enough to not care how I look."

Romance

'I now pronounce you man and wife, you now may kiss you sweet little bachelor butt goodbye.'

As long as there are husbands, we'll get our's money's worth!

'....Till death do you part, don't say I didn't warn you.'

'Lover's lance isn't the same as it used to be!'

'I really can't stay for dessert. Why don't you stay and DVR the rest of the date for me?'

"We met through the personals. We both were seeking someone 'Rubenesque'."

'Don't let the photo put you off, it was taken when he was under the spell of a wicked witch.'

'Jane, cancel all my appointments for the rest of the week.'

"Here's one, Matey! 'Must Love Parrots.'"

"Yes, he was very nice, Mom, but he had to cut the date short because it was... 'report card time'!"

Dating - "Oh, and she must have a sense of humour."

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

"You lack spontaniety."

Biological Cuckoo clock

"I'm experiencing bouts of heavy breathing and dizziness when I'm speed dating!"

They knew they were made for each other when their eyes met from across the room at the Same Socks Bar,

'Fred, don't you think you're over doing it a bit?'

'No, there isn't a probationary period!'

"Ideally, I'm looking for a guy who can make me smile."

Ostrich Bar

Cupid

'You remind me of my ex-ex-ex.'

'Are you ready to get hurt again?'

"I'm the lot of baggage he comes with."

Women's Idea of Sharing/Men's Idea of Sharing.

So all is not rosy in the garden?