Matchmaking Aficionados Pillows

'He should be sensitive, but not overly sensitive ��' except to my needs.'

Romance

'Don't let the photo put you off, it was taken when he was under the spell of a wicked witch.'

"I love that you still call me 'honey'."

'Lover's lance isn't the same as it used to be!'

"Darling, wait until you taste the new year's menu I have ordered for us!"

'And she's got to have implants out to here.'

"Oh I have plenty of sex appeal. It's all here in my bank baalance."

"Here's one, Matey! 'Must Love Parrots.'"

It started friendly enough...'I'm Henry VIII, my dear, but you may call me 'Hank'.'

'Fred, don't you think you're over doing it a bit?'

'We're finally in - but how will we get out?'

"I'm hooking up with this guy who makes the funniest typos."

"You're right. This is better than sex."

"I hope you don't think I'm the kind who would hibernate on the first date."

Cat Love Ads: "Are you; 'Stubborn, lazy, unfaithful and psychopathic...with no sense of humour?""

"Any other bright ideas, Mr. Sex-on-the-Beach?"

'It's our fifth date, so I'll take a box of impatience.'

"'Single'? With this kind of income? Oh, have I got a dependant for you!"

"AI can now scan dating sites and find your best match."

"No darling, there's nothing magical in the air, I just farted"

'I thought Lobsters mate for life.'

'A table for two?'

'But how can we be sure the dating service didn't make a mistake?'

'I know you're falling for her, but be careful. Remember: Love is blinders.'

Love Song of the Baby Boomer.

Shear Love.

"I'm not looking for Mr.Right, Just Mr. Swipe-right!"

"I'm sure you will be very happy together."

'I'm afraid we don't have any gentlemen on hand right now -- how about a good old boy?'

Sure he's a zombie, but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

"Tonight, you're dessert!"

"I told you not to order the Zamboni."