Matchmaker Enthusiast Pillows

"'Single'? With this kind of income? Oh, have I got a dependant for you!"

'That's amazing. According to the computer, I'm your perfect match!'

"You want to see me, Boss?"

"I'm not looking for Mr.Right, Just Mr. Swipe-right!"

'Fortysomething. Is that your age or waist size?'

'I'm afraid we don't have any gentlemen on hand right now -- how about a good old boy?'

'I know you don't like being fixed up, but he's perfect for you!'

'Maybe you set your ideals too high, Karen...'

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

"Sure, it's more efficient. But I still miss shooting the arrows."

"And there was I thinking you'd been Beta tested."

'Don't let the photo put you off, it was taken when he was under the spell of a wicked witch.'

"Have you tried carbon dating?"

'Jane, cancel all my appointments for the rest of the week.'

"Here's one, Matey! 'Must Love Parrots.'"

"That whole internet dating thing....It killed me, I tell ya."

"When the dating agency said you were full of beans..."

Today's love

'Okay, but not in person -- I prefer on-line dating.'

'Fred, don't you think you're over doing it a bit?'

'Sir, you wanted an affectionate date capable of long term friendship...you said nothing about being allergic to fleas.'

They knew they were made for each other when their eyes met from across the room at the Same Socks Bar,

"She says you sound like 'fun'!"

"I don' want another weather forcaster - they're too unpredictable."

Acme Dating Service

"Men just won't leave me alone!"

"...and if anyone here suspects that the algorithm that put these two together might be flawed, speak now..."

'Top is right! He's a scaffolder working on a tower block'

"AI can now scan dating sites and find your best match."

Match maker

"Nothing works with this guy. Would you like us to shoot the pool guy?"

"Of all the finger-painting classes in all the day-care centers in all the world, you had to walk into mine."

"Ironically, I think I'm experiencing job burn out!"

Sidekick speed matching service.

'But how can we be sure the dating service didn't make a mistake?'