Matchmakers Pillows

'Ooh, look - Hilda's latest arm candy!'

They knew they were made for each other when their eyes met from across the room at the Same Socks Bar,

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

"Oh, God, no, please, no, God, no..."

"Sure, it's more efficient. But I still miss shooting the arrows."

"And there was I thinking you'd been Beta tested."

"Have you tried carbon dating?"

'Jane, cancel all my appointments for the rest of the week.'

Today's love

"You looked a lot bigger on your dating profile."

'Okay, but not in person -- I prefer on-line dating.'

"When the dating agency said you were full of beans..."

"That whole internet dating thing....It killed me, I tell ya."

cuPad

'Sir, you wanted an affectionate date capable of long term friendship...you said nothing about being allergic to fleas.'

"She says you sound like 'fun'!"

'You and Phil make a great couple. You're perfect for each other!'

'Are you thinking what I'm thinking?'

"I don' want another weather forcaster - they're too unpredictable."

'I think Benjamin like me. He linked my homepage to his homepage.'

Acme Dating Service

"I'm all for diversity. Let's get someone in here who knows what they're doing."

Cupid

"...and if anyone here suspects that the algorithm that put these two together might be flawed, speak now..."

"'Single'? With this kind of income? Oh, have I got a dependant for you!"

'Top is right! He's a scaffolder working on a tower block'

"AI can now scan dating sites and find your best match."

Match maker

"Ironically, I think I'm experiencing job burn out!"

Sidekick speed matching service.

"I did warn you. Mum can take her time warming to a new boyfriend."

"Nothing works with this guy. Would you like us to shoot the pool guy?"

'Dream-dates don't normally go for nightmares.'

Body language interpreters - "He likes you and wishes to dance with you." "That's a get lost."

"I don't believe you can't get close to anyone, Mr Jones. Get back over your own side."