Modern Matchmakers Pillows

'For those who the internet hath brought together, let no man put asunder...'

Today's love

'There's no need to go through all this old-fashioned formality, Randy -- just give me a sealed bid.'

'It was love at first sight, although he was very pixilated and I was out of focus'

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

"Oh, God, no, please, no, God, no..."

"Sure, it's more efficient. But I still miss shooting the arrows."

"And there was I thinking you'd been Beta tested."

"Have you tried carbon dating?"

'Jane, cancel all my appointments for the rest of the week.'

"That whole internet dating thing....It killed me, I tell ya."

cuPad

"When the dating agency said you were full of beans..."

'Okay, but not in person -- I prefer on-line dating.'

"You looked a lot bigger on your dating profile."

'Sir, you wanted an affectionate date capable of long term friendship...you said nothing about being allergic to fleas.'

They knew they were made for each other when their eyes met from across the room at the Same Socks Bar,

"She says you sound like 'fun'!"

'Are you thinking what I'm thinking?'

"I don' want another weather forcaster - they're too unpredictable."

'I think Benjamin like me. He linked my homepage to his homepage.'

Cupid

Acme Dating Service

"...and if anyone here suspects that the algorithm that put these two together might be flawed, speak now..."

'Top is right! He's a scaffolder working on a tower block'

"AI can now scan dating sites and find your best match."

Match maker

"'Single'? With this kind of income? Oh, have I got a dependant for you!"

Sidekick speed matching service.

"Ironically, I think I'm experiencing job burn out!"

'Dream-dates don't normally go for nightmares.'

"Nothing works with this guy. Would you like us to shoot the pool guy?"

"I did warn you. Mum can take her time warming to a new boyfriend."

"Of all the finger-painting classes in all the day-care centers in all the world, you had to walk into mine."

Using a social media app to date