Modern Matchmaker Pillows

"I don't see myself bringing children into a world where I can't get a date."

"That whole internet dating thing....It killed me, I tell ya."

"Our online relationship working. He keeps getting caught in my spam filter."

'I don't think we should rush into anything. Let's exchange photos first.'

'To the most open-minded girl on eCompromise...'

"I'm sorry Sir, but according to our computer analysis, this is you ideal partner"

'Okay, but not in person -- I prefer on-line dating.'

"I have an app that separates the men form the boys."

"On my dating website it said would be the perfect match."

"A bow and arrow is SO 18th century."

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

'It was love at first sight, although he was very pixilated and I was out of focus'

"Oh, God, no, please, no, God, no..."

"Sure, it's more efficient. But I still miss shooting the arrows."

"And there was I thinking you'd been Beta tested."

"Have you tried carbon dating?"

'Jane, cancel all my appointments for the rest of the week.'

"You looked a lot bigger on your dating profile."

Today's love

"When the dating agency said you were full of beans..."

cuPad

'Sir, you wanted an affectionate date capable of long term friendship...you said nothing about being allergic to fleas.'

They knew they were made for each other when their eyes met from across the room at the Same Socks Bar,

"She says you sound like 'fun'!"

'Are you thinking what I'm thinking?'

'I think Benjamin like me. He linked my homepage to his homepage.'

"I don' want another weather forcaster - they're too unpredictable."

'You're a water sign and I'm an earth sign. . .Together we're mud.'

Acme Dating Service

Cupid

"...and if anyone here suspects that the algorithm that put these two together might be flawed, speak now..."

'Top is right! He's a scaffolder working on a tower block'

Match maker

"AI can now scan dating sites and find your best match."

"'Single'? With this kind of income? Oh, have I got a dependant for you!"