Matchmaking Enthusiast Pillows

'Trust me honey, Aunt Iris says he's a Prince!'

"I'll be honest with you, this isn't going to be easy"

'The dish of the day madam? He's sitting by the window. He's 32, single, and runs a very successful art gallery.'

'I'm waiting for the right introduction agency to come along.'

'I'd like to meet a girl--', 'Oh, a homophobe, eh?'

Chance Meeting

"I think they'll be perfect together. He's a journalist and she's a complete composite."

"Guess who the computer came up with for you, sweetheart."

"Look, Sis, this new dating site even matches you to men who prefer low to normal TV volume."

'I'm sorry, sir, but affirmative action guidelines require that your first date be a Nepalese pastry cook.'

'Most of my customers met online.'

'These are the qualities I'm looking for in a first wife.'

'I'm sorry, sir, but affirmative action guidelines require that your first date be a Nepalese pastry cook.'

'Short, fat, balding, palid complexion...in one.'

'Is generic okay?'

'I'm from the computer dating agency.'

'Fred, don't you think you're over doing it a bit?'

"All our punters have married each other!"

'But how can we be sure the dating service didn't make a mistake?'

"Here's one, Matey! 'Must Love Parrots.'"

"You don't know me well enough to not care how I look."

"Can you romance me after my tiramisu?"

'I now pronounce you man and wife, you now may kiss you sweet little bachelor butt goodbye.'

'One more for me an Tiffany, and one more for you and the road.'

'Don't let the photo put you off, it was taken when he was under the spell of a wicked witch.'

"We met through the personals. We both were seeking someone 'Rubenesque'."

"I'm Lester Holt, and this, is date night."

'Tomorrow we'll look back on this as a night to remember.'

'I really can't stay for dessert. Why don't you stay and DVR the rest of the date for me?'

As long as there are husbands, we'll get our's money's worth!

'....Till death do you part, don't say I didn't warn you.'

'And I love you too, darling, but there's the lust to think of.'

"Would you prefer the talking or the non-talking section?"

'We'll start with a menu and a glass of water.'

"Your press kit said you were lots of fun."