Dating Enthusiast Pillows

A Tree Grows In . . . Wherever.

Generic Joe meets plain Jane. It was a match made in a place very similar to Heaven, but without the overhead.

"I've become so good at dating—relationships that used to take months now last a matter of days."

"I'm afraid I can't arrange an emergency vasectomy just because you think you've got a hot date on Saturday."

Fear of commitment.

"We pointed, but we never clicked."

"Will you call me?"

"I was going to call you but I remembered I left some empty oxygen canisters on Mt. Everest."

'I'm trying to see if blondes really do have more fun.'

"Oh no, not another Philiphs head"

"Ideally, I'm looking for a guy who can make me smile."

'You could be more selective in your choice, Mr Jones.'

'I'm serious. If you crave more action, try age-appropriate dating. Sexy women 50 to 75 are an under-served demographic.'

Woman joins the window display at a pet store with a sign saying 'Pick Me.'

Would you like to go out on a date? - 'No.' - 'Oh... are you already seeing someone?' - 'No.' - 'I don't get it...' -

Ostrich Bar

'Keep in mind, daughter... being in heat is not the same as being in love.'

'Dad, will you tell me about the prat falls of dating?'

"Tinder has a new option - you can swipe right for yes, left for no and up and down for self isolate with me!"

"You don't know me well enough to not care how I look."

"It's probably bad news if she refers to the second date as 'mission creep.' "

"O.K., I'll come in for one drink and maybe sex, but that's it."

"Want to skip lunch and cruise Canal for a pair of piano movers?"

"You know, Ben, it's really cute how secure you are in your sexuality."

"I'm not as old or as young as you think I am."

"You know, when I get over my thing for bad boys, Chip, you're going to be one of the first to know."

"Grace and polish, all bundled up together in one man?"

"He's interesting. But he's not Brazilian-bikini-wax interesting."

Boyfriend Audition

"You had me at ‘we should start seeing other people.’"

"It's not supposed to be a beard or a moustache. It's stubble!"

"You lack spontaniety."

"But the restraining order was totally temporary."

Men seeking women - men seeking men - men seeking anything that will stay still long enough.

"It was love at first sight, except for his ringtone."