Online Dating Enthusiast Pillows

"You said your pictures were recent."

'Sarah, it's that bloke you've been chatting to on the computer.'

Tinder

'Take a letter...hot and horny mature male is looking for big busted young...'

'SWM seeking someone to provide him with a steady stream of retirement income. Cooking skills a plus.'

'You know what I like about technology? I'm able to dump guys without having to do it face to face.'

'I told you we could meet chicks on-line.'

'We met online and straight away we just had this amazing connection...'

'Well, Mr. Snake, you wanted somebody that was into 'heavy metal', right?'

The AdRams Family no.7- Internet dating

'Well I never Did! Doris Mickelthwaite! Not only still gorgeous but single too.'

"You looked taller in your profile photo."

'I should have realized that a 'Virtual relationship' would never work.'

'Another potential Mrs Bluebottle heads south,'

'It's true, Larry... in my online ad, I said I was looking for a good listener, but you never mentioned you were a lab rat in yours.'

Tinder/Target

'We met through an Internet dating service!'

'Do you scan them for viruses?'

Immediately after the babies are born, the adults begin the cycle all over again.

'Hmm... something muste have gone wrong with uploading my profile to the internet dating agency...'

Dog Dates

"Did you order fiancee?"

"When your profile said you were a ball player this isn't exactly what I had in mind."

"This one sounds hot - says he's a 'sexagenarian'!"

Devastatingly handsome Aquarian super-hunt, GSOH, thick head hair (on back) loves to party. WLTM....

"Well, if you can't accept me as I really am, have you seen my Facebook page?"

"My tinder hook-up says he's got a pony tail."

"Not one looks like her date's profile pic."

"I'm looking for a guy who is not afraid to cry and who will take out the garbage... not necessarily in that order."

"Say, 'Tissue? I hardly know you,' but don't tell her you're a roll of toilet paper."

"Guys are way too proud of their wattle."

'No reason.'

You looked different during our video chat.

Any suggestions for my online profile? Don't describe your speed dating experience as "hanging out with fast women."

"You've reached the end of your trial, would you like to upgrade to the full Lionel?"