Online Dating Aficionado Pillows

"I disagree, we do have something in common..."

"Dog Dating Site Profile Pics Niiiice."

'We met online and have so much in common...like lying about our looks.'

'Your online profile stated that you were tall, attractive and owned a sportbike. Is the bike part at least true?'

Tasty.

Young Pups In A Chat Room.

'You're too old school - I'm looking for a mate online.'

"You never know if these photos have been Photoshopped or taken during the warm weather when pounds have melted off."

"No, it wasn't a typo on my profile site...I really am a nillionaire."

"His profile said he was involved in marketing for a major high street chain."

Tinder

"I prefer filtered coffee."

"I'm still in shock. He had such a trustworthy avatar."

"Call me?"

"I'm just saying. This would be even MORE romantic if we couldn't see in the dark."

Mantis Love

"I'll be honest with you, I've been around the block a few times."

"Most women find me too cutthroat."

Today, proud and accomplished the career woman re-enters the dating world, ready at last to meet the man of her dreams. . .

"That whole internet dating thing....It killed me, I tell ya."

"This could be the marriage all our other marriages were for!"

"Sorry I'm late: my parents insisted I wear protection on our first date, so I stopped to buy a flea-collar..."

"Since my divorce I thought I'd never laugh again. Then I noticed your toupee."

Banana Smoothie

'Wow, 600 lbs of dark chocolate signals that you won't mind my inevitable obesity.'

"I hope you don't think I'm the kind who would hibernate on the first date."

"Oh Darling, you're spoiling me! I've never tried tropical fish!"

"I'm hooking up with this guy who makes the funniest typos."

'He's not getting lucky tonight. He smells too good.'

"I'm gonna talk to her. How's my breath?"

'You think you're an incurable romantic? My prescription is to get married.'

Free love

'You're a filthy pig, Gordon! I guess that's why I love you so much.'

I can't bear to be without you.

'I even love the way you snore!'