Online Dating Aficionado Pillows

"I disagree, we do have something in common..."

"Dog Dating Site Profile Pics Niiiice."

'We met online and have so much in common...like lying about our looks.'

'Your online profile stated that you were tall, attractive and owned a sportbike. Is the bike part at least true?'

Tasty.

Young Pups In A Chat Room.

'You're too old school - I'm looking for a mate online.'

"You never know if these photos have been Photoshopped or taken during the warm weather when pounds have melted off."

"No, it wasn't a typo on my profile site...I really am a nillionaire."

"Isn't that false advertising?"

"His profile said he was involved in marketing for a major high street chain."

"Hmm....who's this tall drink of water?"

"His Tinder profile says he's in advertising."

Tinder

"I prefer filtered coffee."

"I'm still in shock. He had such a trustworthy avatar."

"Call me?"

"I'm just saying. This would be even MORE romantic if we couldn't see in the dark."

Mantis Love

"Most women find me too cutthroat."

"I'll be honest with you, I've been around the block a few times."

"Sorry I'm late: my parents insisted I wear protection on our first date, so I stopped to buy a flea-collar..."

"That whole internet dating thing....It killed me, I tell ya."

Today, proud and accomplished the career woman re-enters the dating world, ready at last to meet the man of her dreams. . .

"This could be the marriage all our other marriages were for!"

"Since my divorce I thought I'd never laugh again. Then I noticed your toupee."

Banana Smoothie

'I'm developing a foot fetish.'

'Wow, 600 lbs of dark chocolate signals that you won't mind my inevitable obesity.'

'You're a filthy pig, Gordon! I guess that's why I love you so much.'

'I even love the way you snore!'

I can't bear to be without you.

"Oh Darling, you're spoiling me! I've never tried tropical fish!"

"I'm gonna talk to her. How's my breath?"

'He's not getting lucky tonight. He smells too good.'