Dating Aficionados Pillows

'It's our fifth date, so I'll take a box of impatience.'

"Tofu!... My favorite."

'Apparently his mate is really well hung.'

"When the guy is old enough to know how to write beautiful love letters he is way too old for you."

How to Meet Sluts.

"No darling, there's nothing magical in the air, I just farted"

Another Failed Geek Pickup Line

"Dibs on the tall one!"

"I hope you don't think I'm the kind who would hibernate on the first date."

"The trend in tough economic times is to put off everything that doesn't require immediate action ? as this chart shows."

'Now, keep in mind that these numbers are only as accurate as the fictitious data, ludicrous assumptions and wishful thinking they're based upon!'

"Call me?"

"You don't know me well enough to not care how I look."

'You'll enjoy our staff meetings. We always begin and end with the product.'

"I love that you still call me 'honey'."

"We met through the personals. We both were seeking someone 'Rubenesque'."

'I really can't stay for dessert. Why don't you stay and DVR the rest of the date for me?'

'And she's got to have implants out to here.'

"Most women find me too cutthroat."

I'm your girlfriend and best friend so I get twice as many slices

It started friendly enough...'I'm Henry VIII, my dear, but you may call me 'Hank'.'

"I'll be honest with you, I've been around the block a few times."

Drive in movies.

"Oh I have plenty of sex appeal. It's all here in my bank baalance."

"I opened the last of the emergency wine."

"You lack spontaniety."

"That whole internet dating thing....It killed me, I tell ya."

Today, proud and accomplished the career woman re-enters the dating world, ready at last to meet the man of her dreams. . .

Tongue in the ear...

Dating - "Oh, and she must have a sense of humour."

"Yes, he was very nice, Mom, but he had to cut the date short because it was... 'report card time'!"

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

"Sorry I'm late: my parents insisted I wear protection on our first date, so I stopped to buy a flea-collar..."

'That's it gentlemen, we're broke. Anybody know any good jokes?'

'That's one of those May-December love affairs. He's 251 years old, and she can't be a day over 135!'