Dating Aficionados Gifts

'It's our fifth date, so I'll take a box of impatience.'

Bris Mobile

"Tofu!... My favorite."

I think it's polite to turn off your cell phone on a date. Oh, I agree. That's actually the sound of my ankle monitor.

'Apparently his mate is really well hung.'

"When the guy is old enough to know how to write beautiful love letters he is way too old for you."

How to Meet Sluts.

"No darling, there's nothing magical in the air, I just farted"

Another Failed Geek Pickup Line

"Dibs on the tall one!"

"I hope you don't think I'm the kind who would hibernate on the first date."

"The trend in tough economic times is to put off everything that doesn't require immediate action ? as this chart shows."

'Now, keep in mind that these numbers are only as accurate as the fictitious data, ludicrous assumptions and wishful thinking they're based upon!'

"Call me?"

"You don't know me well enough to not care how I look."

'I really can't stay for dessert. Why don't you stay and DVR the rest of the date for me?'

"We met through the personals. We both were seeking someone 'Rubenesque'."

'You'll enjoy our staff meetings. We always begin and end with the product.'

Two birds sharing a bowl of worms.

"I love that you still call me 'honey'."

'And she's got to have implants out to here.'

"Oh I have plenty of sex appeal. It's all here in my bank baalance."

It started friendly enough...'I'm Henry VIII, my dear, but you may call me 'Hank'.'

Drive in movies.

I'm your girlfriend and best friend so I get twice as many slices

"I'll be honest with you, I've been around the block a few times."

"Most women find me too cutthroat."

"I opened the last of the emergency wine."

Today, proud and accomplished the career woman re-enters the dating world, ready at last to meet the man of her dreams. . .

"You lack spontaniety."

Tongue in the ear...

"Sorry I'm late: my parents insisted I wear protection on our first date, so I stopped to buy a flea-collar..."

Dating - "Oh, and she must have a sense of humour."

"That whole internet dating thing....It killed me, I tell ya."

"Do you have a boyfriend?"