Dating App Aficionado Gifts

"We probably shouldn't cuddle."

'I guess we're both out of luck. You like girls with big boobs, and I like a man with brains and halfway decent looks.'

'I like you on Facebook, but I don't like you here.'

"Your Tinder profile says you're a good listener."

"Actually I joined the website hoping to meet another member of the undead!"

"So, no second date then?"

So are you from a good family?

Lockdown Cupid!

"I have an app that separates the men form the boys."

"Deep down I'm really shallow."

Lonely hearts club: 'Sorry, we're not that lonely.'

'This is positively the last time I arrange a date over the internet,'

"Nothing's wrong with the club I sold you. Maybe you're just not her type."

"You look just like your profile picture."

'Computer dating? I want my money back. You fixed me up with my first wife.'

'Yeah, I know your profile said you were a cat person, but...'

Tunnel of Swiping Right

Blind date signage - ( the obscured sign reads SLOW)

"If he were just 8 inches taller, 20 years younger,10 times more mature and a million dollars richer, he'd be perfect."

Computer Dating. Who have you got at the end of her rope?

"That whole internet dating thing....It killed me, I tell ya."

Courtship versus Tinder

"I guess it's ethical. Let me run it through my 'Ethics Check' app."

"Call me?"

"Since he got that thing, he mostly just kills time."

"I'm just saying. This would be even MORE romantic if we couldn't see in the dark."

'Oh, and this ringtone is an app that alerts me when a fly ball is headed my way.'

Mantis Love

'And she's got to have implants out to here.'

"Most women find me too cutthroat."

"There's an app that helped me finish grades 3 through 7. If you need me, I'll be in my room playing video games for the next few years."

"Oh I have plenty of sex appeal. It's all here in my bank baalance."

All the apps hidden within a phone

"I'll be honest with you, I've been around the block a few times."

'My new cellphone has a 'self-help' program...'