Internet Dating Aficionado Gifts

"...I'm just hoping she doesn't turn out to be short, fat and ugly."

"You said your pictures were recent."

'Seizing an opportunity' in the frog dating scene,

'It was love at first sight, although he was very pixilated and I was out of focus'

"Call me?"

"You don't know me well enough to not care how I look."

'Don't let the photo put you off, it was taken when he was under the spell of a wicked witch.'

'I really can't stay for dessert. Why don't you stay and DVR the rest of the date for me?'

"We met through the personals. We both were seeking someone 'Rubenesque'."

Drive in movies.

From Hunter-Gatherer to Influencer: The Evolution of the Dignity of Labor

I'm your girlfriend and best friend so I get twice as many slices

Twister:Rural Social Networking

"I'll be honest with you, I've been around the block a few times."

"Most women find me too cutthroat."

"We're not really fighting, mom. We just need a little drama for our YouTube channel. Subscribers equal money."

"'C' is for free CONTENT!"

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

'The mask?... Oh, I always try to obscure my face a little, at parties. Just to give the other guys a fighting chance.'

Dating - "Oh, and she must have a sense of humour."

"Yes, he was very nice, Mom, but he had to cut the date short because it was... 'report card time'!"

"You lack spontaniety."

"That whole internet dating thing....It killed me, I tell ya."

"Sorry I'm late: my parents insisted I wear protection on our first date, so I stopped to buy a flea-collar..."

"Stupid – yet irresistible."

Today, proud and accomplished the career woman re-enters the dating world, ready at last to meet the man of her dreams. . .

"Why would I want to see anything that far away from my phone?"

"Sure, this camp has swimming, games, fishing, horseback riding and rock climbing. But, does it have Wi-Fi?"

Biological Cuckoo clock

Love in Boom

"Wow, you look sexy today."

"It's the wine talking. I stopped speaking to you twenty minutes ago due to lack of interest."

"I'm experiencing bouts of heavy breathing and dizziness when I'm speed dating!"

"That news you're reading is 24 hours old. I can get it 23 hours and 57 minutes sooner online."

Banana Smoothie