Online Dating Enthusiasts Gifts

"You don't look anything like your profile picture."

"After all these years we're starting to look alike, so we don't want to spoil it by actually meeting face to face."

'I met him through a chatline website - he's a computer error.'

'Yes, we do have one or two Britney Spears look-alikes on our books. But strange as it may seem, none of them want to date bald, fat middle-aged blokes.'

"Hi ladies, ready to swipe right?"

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

'It was love at first sight, although he was very pixilated and I was out of focus'

Right click for yes...

"I met him on an online dating site. He was on their 'return' section."

"We first met on the net. We began to court, but between my foul mouth and Wilson being on the rebound...let's just say it was a long shot, but he pressed, and I was defenseless. Now, we're as 'hoopy' as can be."

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

"You don't know me well enough to not care how I look."

'I really can't stay for dessert. Why don't you stay and DVR the rest of the date for me?'

"We met through the personals. We both were seeking someone 'Rubenesque'."

'Everybody on the internet now knows I'm a dog, so I'm pretending to be a cat.'

'Of all the women who responded to my dating profile, you had the best emoticon.'

'Jane, cancel all my appointments for the rest of the week.'

"Here's one, Matey! 'Must Love Parrots.'"

"You may now kiss the bride."

INTERNET MARRIAGE.

'I was attracted to you but your online photo, but now that I've seen you in High-Def...'

cuPad

"That whole internet dating thing....It killed me, I tell ya."

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

"Don't take this the wrong way, Howard, but I'd like to go back to having an on-line relationship."

"Then again, an honest profile picture would not have got me a wonderful 'Duck Confit with a Chocolat Creme Brulee.'"

"Yes, he was very nice, Mom, but he had to cut the date short because it was... 'report card time'!"

"Ooo... she sounds nice... 'I enjoy burying myself in the sand and sideways walks on the beach.'"

'Your website or mine?'

'Okay, but not in person -- I prefer on-line dating.'

Dating - "Oh, and she must have a sense of humour."

Today's love

"You lack spontaniety."

"Everybody meets online these days."

"You looked a lot bigger on your dating profile."