Online Dating Enthusiasts Gifts

"You don't look anything like your profile picture."

'I met him through a chatline website - he's a computer error.'

'Yes, we do have one or two Britney Spears look-alikes on our books. But strange as it may seem, none of them want to date bald, fat middle-aged blokes.'

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

'It was love at first sight, although he was very pixilated and I was out of focus'

Right click for yes...

"I met him on an online dating site. He was on their 'return' section."

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

"You don't know me well enough to not care how I look."

'I really can't stay for dessert. Why don't you stay and DVR the rest of the date for me?'

"We met through the personals. We both were seeking someone 'Rubenesque'."

'Everybody on the internet now knows I'm a dog, so I'm pretending to be a cat.'

"Here's one, Matey! 'Must Love Parrots.'"

'Jane, cancel all my appointments for the rest of the week.'

"You may now kiss the bride."

'Of all the women who responded to my dating profile, you had the best emoticon.'

INTERNET MARRIAGE.

'I was attracted to you but your online photo, but now that I've seen you in High-Def...'

'Your website or mine?'

"Then again, an honest profile picture would not have got me a wonderful 'Duck Confit with a Chocolat Creme Brulee.'"

'Okay, but not in person -- I prefer on-line dating.'

"That whole internet dating thing....It killed me, I tell ya."

cuPad

"Everybody meets online these days."

Today's love

"Ooo... she sounds nice... 'I enjoy burying myself in the sand and sideways walks on the beach.'"

"You looked a lot bigger on your dating profile."

Dating - "Oh, and she must have a sense of humour."

"Yes, he was very nice, Mom, but he had to cut the date short because it was... 'report card time'!"

"You lack spontaniety."

"Don't take this the wrong way, Howard, but I'd like to go back to having an on-line relationship."

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

Horny Nanny Seeks Lonely Goat Herd.

"I'm experiencing bouts of heavy breathing and dizziness when I'm speed dating!"

Biological Cuckoo clock