Internet Dating Aficionado Pillows

"...I'm just hoping she doesn't turn out to be short, fat and ugly."

"You said your pictures were recent."

'Seizing an opportunity' in the frog dating scene,

'It was love at first sight, although he was very pixilated and I was out of focus'

"Call me?"

"You don't know me well enough to not care how I look."

"We met through the personals. We both were seeking someone 'Rubenesque'."

'Don't let the photo put you off, it was taken when he was under the spell of a wicked witch.'

'I really can't stay for dessert. Why don't you stay and DVR the rest of the date for me?'

"Most women find me too cutthroat."

Drive in movies.

I'm your girlfriend and best friend so I get twice as many slices

"I'll be honest with you, I've been around the block a few times."

Twister:Rural Social Networking

"'C' is for free CONTENT!"

"Sorry I'm late: my parents insisted I wear protection on our first date, so I stopped to buy a flea-collar..."

"You lack spontaniety."

"Stupid – yet irresistible."

'The mask?... Oh, I always try to obscure my face a little, at parties. Just to give the other guys a fighting chance.'

"Yes, he was very nice, Mom, but he had to cut the date short because it was... 'report card time'!"

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

Dating - "Oh, and she must have a sense of humour."

Today, proud and accomplished the career woman re-enters the dating world, ready at last to meet the man of her dreams. . .

"That whole internet dating thing....It killed me, I tell ya."

"Why would I want to see anything that far away from my phone?"

"Sure, this camp has swimming, games, fishing, horseback riding and rock climbing. But, does it have Wi-Fi?"

"It's the wine talking. I stopped speaking to you twenty minutes ago due to lack of interest."

Tasty.

"I'm experiencing bouts of heavy breathing and dizziness when I'm speed dating!"

Biological Cuckoo clock

"That news you're reading is 24 hours old. I can get it 23 hours and 57 minutes sooner online."

"Since my divorce I thought I'd never laugh again. Then I noticed your toupee."

"Wow, you look sexy today."

Banana Smoothie

Love in Boom