Internet Dating Enthusiast Pillows

'Colin was at the very bottom of a steep learning curve where internet dating was concerned,'

"Yes. I'm Sexy_Lady081266. Why do you ask?"

Lonely fork looking for friends.

She knew that her online boyfriend would be just as sensitive in person.

'It was love at first sight, although he was very pixilated and I was out of focus'

"You don't know me well enough to not care how I look."

'I really can't stay for dessert. Why don't you stay and DVR the rest of the date for me?'

"We met through the personals. We both were seeking someone 'Rubenesque'."

'Jane, cancel all my appointments for the rest of the week.'

"You lack spontaniety."

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

"That whole internet dating thing....It killed me, I tell ya."

Dating - "Oh, and she must have a sense of humour."

"Yes, he was very nice, Mom, but he had to cut the date short because it was... 'report card time'!"

"Your profile said that you liked long walks on the beach."

Biological Cuckoo clock

"I'm experiencing bouts of heavy breathing and dizziness when I'm speed dating!"

Tasty.

"Ideally, I'm looking for a guy who can make me smile."

Ostrich Bar

Women's Idea of Sharing/Men's Idea of Sharing.

When kissing a woman, try not to burp.

"I thought on your profile it said you were into 'BIKING'."

'The website made a mistake. Not 'erotic' - 'neurotic'.'

"I'm hooking up with this guy who makes the funniest typos."

'Are you ready to get hurt again?'

Young Pups In A Chat Room.

"I'm sorry, Brad, but I'm saving eye-contact for that special someone."

"No, it wasn't a typo on my profile site...I really am a nillionaire."

'You remind me of my ex-ex-ex.'

A Tree Grows In . . . Wherever.

"I've become so good at dating—relationships that used to take months now last a matter of days."

"Hi, I'm Miranda: I like sniffing bums, rolling about in dead things and chasing tennis balls. . ."

"Ask me anything you want about Water Cress!"