Internet Dating Adventurer Pillows

Did you have to come far

'My ad said I was 'blond with curves' it didn't say anything about me being a woman.'

'Jane, cancel all my appointments for the rest of the week.'

Your online dating profile said you were lean and mean.

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

Evolution.

'Who changed the password to 'arf'?'

"Just one more site!" "I'm totally, like, in control!" "I can quit anytime I feel like it..."

I DATED A GUY FROM THE FAIR, BUT . . .

WiFi Signals

"Mum! - T.S. Eliot - 'Humankind cannot bear much reality'."

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

Online Dating

'Don't let the photo put you off, it was taken when he was under the spell of a wicked witch.'

"Good heavens William, what have you downloaded off the internet this time?"

That must be my computer date... (Answers door to robot).

"Here's one, Matey! 'Must Love Parrots.'"

'Yeah, but if it's NOT a mirage, maybe we can find Mapquest on it!'

"I'm sorry about all this. It's my animal magnetism."

"And for my next trick, I will confuse general politeness for chemistry."

"The cheek of him! At the end of the first date, he wanted me to go to his home to roost!"

'I told you not to look up your ailments on the internet' - computer screen reads 'You have 3 days to live',

The perfect man

"This sounds promising. . . dark brown hair, loyal, cuddly and good in bed."

'You see, I didn't lie, the Internet is full of puppy and kitten videos: We could make a fortune!'

"We met the old fashioned way – online, in a chat room."

"The worst thing about having aliens abduct you is that they say they’re going to call, but they never do."

'Two Mr. Wrongs don't make a Mr. Right.'

"Your profile said that you liked long walks on the beach."

"Error 404: Brain not found"

"Your online profile says you like to foxtrot."

"Teri tells me you're ostensibly straight.."

Pete never wanted the fame that came with being a national symbol...he just thought it was a good way to meet girls.

"Officer, someone hacked my bluetooth pressure cooker and blew my kitchen apart! What can I do?"

Russian Dating.