Online Dating Explorers Pillows

'Then again, an honest profile picture would not have got me the wonderful meal I just had.'

"Your online dating profile said you were a really big dill. I thought it was a typo."

"We first met on the net. We began to court, but between my foul mouth and Wilson being on the rebound...let's just say it was a long shot, but he pressed, and I was defenseless. Now, we're as 'hoopy' as can be."

"I'm dating a squash champion."

Right click for yes...

Online Dating

"You may now kiss the bride."

That must be my computer date... (Answers door to robot).

"Here's one, Matey! 'Must Love Parrots.'"

'Jane, cancel all my appointments for the rest of the week.'

"This sounds promising. . . dark brown hair, loyal, cuddly and good in bed."

"I asked for a bottle of something that would make men drool over me. This is bourbon."

"Your profile said that you liked long walks on the beach."

"Your online profile says you like to foxtrot."

You looked different during our video chat.

'The website made a mistake. Not 'erotic' - 'neurotic'.'

"I thought on your profile it said you were into 'BIKING'."

Cat Love Ads: "Are you; 'Stubborn, lazy, unfaithful and psychopathic...with no sense of humour?""

"Sorry, pal. I just need to make sure she likes me for me."

"On the internet nobody knows you're a dog, but in person..."

"Hi, I'm Miranda: I like sniffing bums, rolling about in dead things and chasing tennis balls. . ."

"You know that on-line romance you've been carryin' on? Well this here's Samantha!"

"What if I dress up like a Chihuahua?"

"I know that on-line dating service claims a 90% success rate, but let's face it, Henry, we're in that other ten percent!"

Man and woman meet in bar, in strained poses. He says: 'Now we've met, can we drop the Myspace poses?'

Well, I didn't know he was a dragon when I met him online!

Tinder

Cupid Co. Valentine's Day Special Offer. For centuries Cupid had a monopoly in the falling in love business. But dating apps were making him obsolete. So he formed a company combining his matchmaking knowledge with online marketing techniques. Perhaps the biggest factor in the enormous success of Cupid Co. is the no questions asked return policy when a customer thinks an item is not as advertised.

Wendy's blind date had heard that women love a guy who can make them laugh.

Quarandating.

Hey, Sis! Your blind date's here! Says he's from ' Big & Tall Dot Com!'

"Your profile says you're a lumberjack, I though they were all big buggers."

Online Dog Dating

'Oh - My - God - I think I'm virtually married.'

"I gotta be honest. I lied on my profile. I'm actually a CPA, not a CEO."