Online Dating Adventurers Pillows

Well, I didn't know he was a dragon when I met him online!

'The Internet Bride of Franksenstein.'

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

"We first met on the net. We began to court, but between my foul mouth and Wilson being on the rebound...let's just say it was a long shot, but he pressed, and I was defenseless. Now, we're as 'hoopy' as can be."

I DATED A GUY FROM THE FAIR, BUT . . .

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

Online Dating

'Don't let the photo put you off, it was taken when he was under the spell of a wicked witch.'

"Here's one, Matey! 'Must Love Parrots.'"

"I'm sorry about all this. It's my animal magnetism."

That must be my computer date... (Answers door to robot).

'Jane, cancel all my appointments for the rest of the week.'

"And for my next trick, I will confuse general politeness for chemistry."

"The cheek of him! At the end of the first date, he wanted me to go to his home to roost!"

The perfect man

"This sounds promising. . . dark brown hair, loyal, cuddly and good in bed."

"The worst thing about having aliens abduct you is that they say they’re going to call, but they never do."

"Your profile said that you liked long walks on the beach."

"Your online profile says you like to foxtrot."

'Two Mr. Wrongs don't make a Mr. Right.'

"Teri tells me you're ostensibly straight.."

Pete never wanted the fame that came with being a national symbol...he just thought it was a good way to meet girls.

"On the internet nobody knows you're a dog, but in person..."

"I thought on your profile it said you were into 'BIKING'."

You looked different during our video chat.

Mate Mart

"I'm looking for a data plan that will be constantly out of service so I can tell my dates I didn't mean to ghost them."

'The website made a mistake. Not 'erotic' - 'neurotic'.'

"She said don't forget the straw."

"Hold on one second I'm just scrolling through your Instagram to get to know you."

Russian Dating.

'C'mon, Larry - you knew the risks when you promised to be my wingman.'

Got suspicious after he asked to see a recent picture and she sent over an oil painting.

"Hi, I'm Miranda: I like sniffing bums, rolling about in dead things and chasing tennis balls. . ."

Borrow the Bag?