Dating Adventurer Pillows

"I think it's time we started seeing other people"

"Your dating profile says that you work in a laboratory. Are you a scientist?"

'C'mon, Larry - you knew the risks when you promised to be my wingman.'

"I'm meeting my blind date, he's a dog lover too and he has a young german shepherd"

"How long have you been into the body-piercing thing?"

'I can accept that you're a germaphobe, but I can't get past the sneeze guard.'

'My horoscope says I'm going to meet a bearded horny stranger.'

'I'm what you might call a people-person'.

'I can't find a guy who's a perfect ten. So, I've decided to go with two fives.'

Singles Bar - "Yes I'm a dog but I've got a great personality."

"What do you do for a living? I sue people. So you're an attorney? No I just sue people."

"Teri tells me you're ostensibly straight.."

"Oh, I am enjoying our date, Harry, but if I seem nervous it may be because you're the only man I've spoken to since September who's over the age of fifteen."

'She got divorced again.'

How to attract women, advice #317: Try to appeat to their maternal instincts, but in moderation.

"Hot date. Are these really my sexiest pens?"

The perfect man

Look, I'm not shocked. It's just that you sounded a bit different on the phone!

Bad Date

'A babe magnet? Shouldn't that be a fridge magnet?!'

'Actually, I was thinking more blood group than personality.'

'I doubt if we'll be going out together again, so how about a garlic pizza?'

'One with rose-coloured spectacles might be good' (man at a dating agency)

I DATED A GUY FROM THE FAIR, BUT . . .

'This is the last time I let my friends set me up.'

"I may not be Mr. Right, but I know Mr. Right, and maybe if you sleep with me it will make him jealous."

"You're healthy enough for sexual activity but not attractive enough."

"Exactly how entrenched is your beard?"

"I'm a beggar in the house of love."

"Now I believe it. New York IS out of control."

Mate Mart

"I tried being myself, but it wasn't getting me anywhere."

"I'm sorry. I just feel I should be dating someone closer to my daughter's age."

"Everybody's just a teensy bit in love with me. How about yourself?"

"Sorry, David, but I'm strictly catch-and-release."