Dating Explorers Pillows

'Listen, I like you, Chet, but I prefer to move a little slower.'

"He's nice, but he won't leave."

"So how did your blind date go with that mysterious "man in uniform"?"

"For 200,000 years people have primarily only been able to mate with peole who speak the same language."

'It is believed dear Jack finally figured out women. Trouble is he died laughing before her could tell anybody.'

"According to the pollsters I'm your ideal partner."

"How many of these blind dates must we go on before we can start seeing each other?"

"I asked for a bottle of something that would make men drool over me. This is bourbon."

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

"We first met on the net. We began to court, but between my foul mouth and Wilson being on the rebound...let's just say it was a long shot, but he pressed, and I was defenseless. Now, we're as 'hoopy' as can be."

I DATED A GUY FROM THE FAIR, BUT . . .

Too much togetherness can lead to unexpected problems.

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

Online Dating

'Don't let the photo put you off, it was taken when he was under the spell of a wicked witch.'

"Here's one, Matey! 'Must Love Parrots.'"

"Have you tried carbon dating?"

That must be my computer date... (Answers door to robot).

"I'm sorry about all this. It's my animal magnetism."

"I just love a nice knight out."

"And for my next trick, I will confuse general politeness for chemistry."

"The cheek of him! At the end of the first date, he wanted me to go to his home to roost!"

The perfect man

"This sounds promising. . . dark brown hair, loyal, cuddly and good in bed."

'Two Mr. Wrongs don't make a Mr. Right.'

"Your online profile says you like to foxtrot."

"The worst thing about having aliens abduct you is that they say they’re going to call, but they never do."

"Don't panic, she'll be back. We lock the washroom windows from the outside."

"Teri tells me you're ostensibly straight.."

"Don't wait too long for Mr. Right or you'll end up with Mr. What's left!"

Mate Mart

"I had guys chase my tail, then one day I thought, hey, dummy, get rid of the middlemen and chase your own tail!"

"She said don't forget the straw."

"I'm looking for a data plan that will be constantly out of service so I can tell my dates I didn't mean to ghost them."

Russian Dating.