Dating Scene Explorers Pillows

'Just once I'd like to meet a guy who's not from Mars.'

'That's why I can't remember you!I slept with you last night!'

Online Dating

"Here's one, Matey! 'Must Love Parrots.'"

That must be my computer date... (Answers door to robot).

"Have you tried carbon dating?"

"I just love a nice knight out."

"And for my next trick, I will confuse general politeness for chemistry."

"This sounds promising. . . dark brown hair, loyal, cuddly and good in bed."

"The worst thing about having aliens abduct you is that they say they’re going to call, but they never do."

'He had bulging muscles and a wallet to match!'

"Your online profile says you like to foxtrot."

"Don't panic, she'll be back. We lock the washroom windows from the outside."

'The blond guy is a forward and the other guy is a wing.'

"Don't wait too long for Mr. Right or you'll end up with Mr. What's left!"

Cat Love Ads: "Are you; 'Stubborn, lazy, unfaithful and psychopathic...with no sense of humour?""

'Your place or mine? Both. You go to your place and I'll go to mine!'

"Hi!- standards need lowering?"

Alligator Bars

"Sorry, pal. I just need to make sure she likes me for me."

"I had guys chase my tail, then one day I thought, hey, dummy, get rid of the middlemen and chase your own tail!"

'Top is right! He's a scaffolder working on a tower block'

As luck would have it the hunchback's blind date turned out to be a hunchbelly!

"I know that on-line dating service claims a 90% success rate, but let's face it, Henry, we're in that other ten percent!"

"I need a man who will commit."

"Is that 'good reptilian' or 'bad reptilian'?"

They all have one thing in common...they all have bad breath.

'I thought dinner was going so well!'

Sadomasochists in love

Some blind dates work out just fine.

'Our relationship is getting serious. He's taking me to meet his doctor.'

'....in fact, I don't even know why Mrs. Goldberg put us together.'

'Yes, this is my first time at speed dating. Is it that obvious?'