Dating Scene Explorers Gifts

'Just once I'd like to meet a guy who's not from Mars.'

'That's why I can't remember you!I slept with you last night!'

"We first met on the net. We began to court, but between my foul mouth and Wilson being on the rebound...let's just say it was a long shot, but he pressed, and I was defenseless. Now, we're as 'hoopy' as can be."

Online Dating

"Have you tried carbon dating?"

"Here's one, Matey! 'Must Love Parrots.'"

That must be my computer date... (Answers door to robot).

Updated fairy tales - "Cinderella." Dating Service. It's not often we get a client looking for a specific shoe size.

"I just love a nice knight out."

"And for my next trick, I will confuse general politeness for chemistry."

"This sounds promising. . . dark brown hair, loyal, cuddly and good in bed."

"I asked for a bottle of something that would make men drool over me. This is bourbon."

"Your online profile says you like to foxtrot."

"The worst thing about having aliens abduct you is that they say they’re going to call, but they never do."

'He had bulging muscles and a wallet to match!'

"Don't panic, she'll be back. We lock the washroom windows from the outside."

'The blond guy is a forward and the other guy is a wing.'

"Don't wait too long for Mr. Right or you'll end up with Mr. What's left!"

"Sorry, pal. I just need to make sure she likes me for me."

"Hi!- standards need lowering?"

Alligator Bars

'Your place or mine? Both. You go to your place and I'll go to mine!'

Cat Love Ads: "Are you; 'Stubborn, lazy, unfaithful and psychopathic...with no sense of humour?""

"I had guys chase my tail, then one day I thought, hey, dummy, get rid of the middlemen and chase your own tail!"

Lonely Hearts Dating Agency - "Mmm he's a bit of a dish."

'Top is right! He's a scaffolder working on a tower block'

"I need a man who will commit."

"I know that on-line dating service claims a 90% success rate, but let's face it, Henry, we're in that other ten percent!"

They all have one thing in common...they all have bad breath.

As luck would have it the hunchback's blind date turned out to be a hunchbelly!

"Is that 'good reptilian' or 'bad reptilian'?"

'I thought dinner was going so well!'

Sadomasochists in love

Some blind dates work out just fine.

'....in fact, I don't even know why Mrs. Goldberg put us together.'