Dating Scene Navigators Gifts

'The blond guy is a forward and the other guy is a wing.'

Lonely Hearts Dating Agency - "Mmm he's a bit of a dish."

"So me heartie, what's say you and I 'hook up' a bit later?"

"I need a man who will commit."

"Honey, this is serious, we need to text."

"I guess I misunderstood when I read you were into 'Bodybuilding'."

Updated fairy tales - "Cinderella." Dating Service. It's not often we get a client looking for a specific shoe size.

"I just love a nice knight out."

'Are you ready to be patronised yet?'

"Why do I feel like your mother is going to blame this on my cleaning?"

"Your profile didn't mention you being a chewer."

'Do you take this annoying woman to be your lawful wedded wife?'

'He had bulging muscles and a wallet to match!'

"Uh-oh. The so-called marriage penalty."

"Teri tells me you're ostensibly straight.."

"Don't wait too long for Mr. Right or you'll end up with Mr. What's left!"

"Thanks for that."

Alligator Bars

'I'm sorry but I need my own space.'

"Hi!- standards need lowering?"

"I had guys chase my tail, then one day I thought, hey, dummy, get rid of the middlemen and chase your own tail!"

"No, Phil, I'm not grateful that we finally have some time alone."

"Do you, Amanda and John, promise to watch yourselves, mind your Ps and Qs, and generally step on eggshells in this marriage, in order to somehow keep it up and running for as long as possible?"

'Your place or mine? Both. You go to your place and I'll go to mine!'

Oh silly me, I'm trying to fix my glasses with nasal spray instead of super glue!

"It's not all your fault, some of it is my mother's!"

"This isn't working out - I'm an earthworm and you're a....are you even listening to me?"

"I don't understand... I've scientifically proven that you were wrong. How can you still be mad at me?"

'It's our first date. You don't know me well enough to ask if I'm getting enough fiber.'

"Once we're all vaccinated, will you still want to spend every waking moment together?"

"You're not working as a crossing guard now, Brenda."

'We tried marriage your way and it didn't work. Now it's my way!'

"So, tell me, how many guys have you slept with?"

"Life’s become pretty easy lately. Perhaps it’s time we shake things up by adding a dependent."

'I feel like I just don't know you anymore, Richard!'