Dating Advice Explorers Pillows

"Most women I meet can't stand me. I've been thinking of having my lactose removed."

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

I DATED A GUY FROM THE FAIR, BUT . . .

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

'Don't let the photo put you off, it was taken when he was under the spell of a wicked witch.'

"I'm sorry about all this. It's my animal magnetism."

"And for my next trick, I will confuse general politeness for chemistry."

"The cheek of him! At the end of the first date, he wanted me to go to his home to roost!"

The perfect man

"The worst thing about having aliens abduct you is that they say they’re going to call, but they never do."

'Two Mr. Wrongs don't make a Mr. Right.'

"Tell me about yourself. Any weird genes or anything?"

"Your profile said that you liked long walks on the beach."

"I feel I'm losing touch with the unrealistic view I have of him."

"Don't panic, she'll be back. We lock the washroom windows from the outside."

Pete never wanted the fame that came with being a national symbol...he just thought it was a good way to meet girls.

"Teri tells me you're ostensibly straight.."

"She said don't forget the straw."

Mate Mart

Cat Love Ads: "Are you; 'Stubborn, lazy, unfaithful and psychopathic...with no sense of humour?""

"Sorry, pal. I just need to make sure she likes me for me."

"I thought on your profile it said you were into 'BIKING'."

Russian Dating.

"I'm looking for a data plan that will be constantly out of service so I can tell my dates I didn't mean to ghost them."

'C'mon, Larry - you knew the risks when you promised to be my wingman.'

'Complements of the big smelly gentleman.'

'My mother always told me if it ain't broke, date it.'

Borrow the Bag?

"Is that 'good reptilian' or 'bad reptilian'?"

They all have one thing in common...they all have bad breath.

"Everybody's just a teensy bit in love with me. How about yourself?"