
"Most women I meet can't stand me. I've been thinking of having my lactose removed."
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"Most women I meet can't stand me. I've been thinking of having my lactose removed."
"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"
"We first met on the net. We began to court, but between my foul mouth and Wilson being on the rebound...let's just say it was a long shot, but he pressed, and I was defenseless. Now, we're as 'hoopy' as can be."
I DATED A GUY FROM THE FAIR, BUT . . .
"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"
'Don't let the photo put you off, it was taken when he was under the spell of a wicked witch.'
What Guys Say and What They Mean,
"I'm sorry about all this. It's my animal magnetism."
"And for my next trick, I will confuse general politeness for chemistry."
"The cheek of him! At the end of the first date, he wanted me to go to his home to roost!"
The perfect man
"The worst thing about having aliens abduct you is that they say they’re going to call, but they never do."
'Two Mr. Wrongs don't make a Mr. Right.'
"I asked for a bottle of something that would make men drool over me. This is bourbon."
"Tell me about yourself. Any weird genes or anything?"
"I feel I'm losing touch with the unrealistic view I have of him."
"Your profile said that you liked long walks on the beach."
"Don't panic, she'll be back. We lock the washroom windows from the outside."
"Teri tells me you're ostensibly straight.."
Pete never wanted the fame that came with being a national symbol...he just thought it was a good way to meet girls.
"She said don't forget the straw."
Russian Dating.
"I thought on your profile it said you were into 'BIKING'."
I think my brother Lars is trying to steal away my girlfriend, Dr. Kapuchnik. But she's imaginary, AL. He has very low standards.
"I'm looking for a data plan that will be constantly out of service so I can tell my dates I didn't mean to ghost them."
"Sorry, pal. I just need to make sure she likes me for me."
Cat Love Ads: "Are you; 'Stubborn, lazy, unfaithful and psychopathic...with no sense of humour?""
Mate Mart
'C'mon, Larry - you knew the risks when you promised to be my wingman.'
My Youtube channel's taking off. Mine too, little buddy. You have a Youtube channel? Of course, it's got 12.8 million subscribers. I accompanies my best-selling MANuals book series. I post a video per day. There's "Pickup Artist Mondays," "Man-Grooming Tuesdays," "Relationship Escape-Artist Wednesdays" ... "Become an Alpha in Five Minutes Thursdays" ... "New Advances in Speedos Fridays," and "Using Quantum Physics and the Multiverse Theory to Explain Why that Lady She Caught You with was Actuall
'Complements of the big smelly gentleman.'
"Is that 'good reptilian' or 'bad reptilian'?"
Borrow the Bag?
They all have one thing in common...they all have bad breath.
"That's the worst pickup line I've ever heard!"
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