Internet Dating Veteran Pillows

"That whole internet dating thing....It killed me, I tell ya."

'It was love at first sight, although he was very pixilated and I was out of focus'

Right click for yes...

'Jane, cancel all my appointments for the rest of the week.'

"You may now kiss the bride."

'The website made a mistake. Not 'erotic' - 'neurotic'.'

"I'm sorry, Brad, but I'm saving eye-contact for that special someone."

"Hi, I'm Miranda: I like sniffing bums, rolling about in dead things and chasing tennis balls. . ."

"Don't you hate it when someone answers their own questions? I do."

"I must say, Doctor Jeckyll, that you bear little resemblance to your profile picture."

Tinder

'Seizing an opportunity' in the frog dating scene,

Online Dog Dating

"Huge fan."

"I gotta be honest. I lied on my profile. I'm actually a CPA, not a CEO."

"I'm looking for a long-distance relationship."

Hey, Sis! Your blind date's here! Says he's from ' Big & Tall Dot Com!'

"Does it occur to you that the only thing separating us is a basket of bar snacks? And a flimsy basket at that?"

"I'm not looking for Mr.Right, Just Mr. Swipe-right!"

'George and I met on line!'

"You said your pictures were recent."

Computer dating.

'To learn more about me, swipe my forehead with your smart phone.'

Computer telling man he loves him

"I googled you and I'm not interested."

Woman seeks male companion...

Internet dating

'That one? Alright, I'll send Igor to collect her.'

"I have to admit you look a lot different in person."

"Hmmm, yes, nice meeting you, but I can see that your online photo has been heavily edited..."