Internet Dating Veteran Pillows

"That whole internet dating thing....It killed me, I tell ya."

'It was love at first sight, although he was very pixilated and I was out of focus'

Right click for yes...

"You may now kiss the bride."

'Jane, cancel all my appointments for the rest of the week.'

You looked different during our video chat.

"I'm sorry, Brad, but I'm saving eye-contact for that special someone."

'The website made a mistake. Not 'erotic' - 'neurotic'.'

"Hi, I'm Miranda: I like sniffing bums, rolling about in dead things and chasing tennis balls. . ."

Well, I didn't know he was a dragon when I met him online!

"I must say, Doctor Jeckyll, that you bear little resemblance to your profile picture."

"Don't you hate it when someone answers their own questions? I do."

Man and woman meet in bar, in strained poses. He says: 'Now we've met, can we drop the Myspace poses?'

Tinder

Hey, Sis! Your blind date's here! Says he's from ' Big & Tall Dot Com!'

"I'm not looking for Mr.Right, Just Mr. Swipe-right!"

"Does it occur to you that the only thing separating us is a basket of bar snacks? And a flimsy basket at that?"

'George and I met on line!'

'Seizing an opportunity' in the frog dating scene,

Cupid Co. Valentine's Day Special Offer. For centuries Cupid had a monopoly in the falling in love business. But dating apps were making him obsolete. So he formed a company combining his matchmaking knowledge with online marketing techniques. Perhaps the biggest factor in the enormous success of Cupid Co. is the no questions asked return policy when a customer thinks an item is not as advertised.

Online Dog Dating

"Huge fan."

Wendy's blind date had heard that women love a guy who can make them laugh.

"I gotta be honest. I lied on my profile. I'm actually a CPA, not a CEO."

"I'm looking for a long-distance relationship."

"You said your pictures were recent."

Computer dating.

'To learn more about me, swipe my forehead with your smart phone.'

"Hmmm, yes, nice meeting you, but I can see that your online photo has been heavily edited..."

Computer telling man he loves him

"I googled you and I'm not interested."

Internet dating

Woman seeks male companion...

Yeah, I know. My dating profile says I'm a "ginger," so you were expecting a redhead.

'For a romantic anniversary I thought we'd go back to where we first met.'