Dating App Veteran Pillows

"Well, this is me."

'My experience in the HR field is 10 years with online dating and 2 years in a meaningful relationship.'

'And she's got to have implants out to here.'

"Oh I have plenty of sex appeal. It's all here in my bank baalance."

"That whole internet dating thing....It killed me, I tell ya."

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"You looked a lot bigger on your dating profile."

'Would you like to come in for a rejection?'

"I'm sorry, Brad, but I'm saving eye-contact for that special someone."

"Wow! That guy is REALLY good at 'Speed Dating!'"

Cat Love Ads: "Are you; 'Stubborn, lazy, unfaithful and psychopathic...with no sense of humour?""

"Wanna get pigeon holed?"

"We probably shouldn't cuddle."

'I know I said you could take me home but I didn't mean to your place!'

"I know that on-line dating service claims a 90% success rate, but let's face it, Henry, we're in that other ten percent!"

Netflix and chill?

'I guess we're both out of luck. You like girls with big boobs, and I like a man with brains and halfway decent looks.'

"Huge fan."

"Does it occur to you that the only thing separating us is a basket of bar snacks? And a flimsy basket at that?"

'He was taller online!'

"If he were just 8 inches taller, 20 years younger,10 times more mature and a million dollars richer, he'd be perfect."

James and Sarah had no chance of sex with antibiotic resistant gonorrhea keeping them apart

'For those who the internet hath brought together, let no man put asunder...'

'To learn more about me, swipe my forehead with your smart phone.'

"This is definately the last time I arrange a date over the internet..."

"We hooked up on one of those 'buoy meets girl' sites."

"But it's supposed to be recreational sex, not guilt sex."

"I meet people all the time, but nothing ever seems to last."

Blind date signage - ( the obscured sign reads SLOW)

'I get the feeling you haven't heard a word I've said.'

When policewomen date.

'En-counter'

'It turned out to be a very crummy date and I kept thinking, 'I shaved my legs for this?''