Dating App Fan Pillows

"Apparently men think about sex every five sex."

'And she's got to have implants out to here.'

"Oh I have plenty of sex appeal. It's all here in my bank baalance."

cuPad

"That whole internet dating thing....It killed me, I tell ya."

Today's love

"You looked a lot bigger on your dating profile."

'Ok, Bachelor number 2: What's your idea of a perfect first date?'

"Wanna get pigeon holed?"

"Wow! That guy is REALLY good at 'Speed Dating!'"

"I'm sorry, Brad, but I'm saving eye-contact for that special someone."

"We probably shouldn't cuddle."

Joe Hundredaire

'I know I said you could take me home but I didn't mean to your place!'

'I guess we're both out of luck. You like girls with big boobs, and I like a man with brains and halfway decent looks.'

"If he were just 8 inches taller, 20 years younger,10 times more mature and a million dollars richer, he'd be perfect."

'I'm afraid we don't have any gentlemen on hand right now -- how about a good old boy?'

James and Sarah had no chance of sex with antibiotic resistant gonorrhea keeping them apart

'He was taller online!'

'Hi, I'm Raoul...I shall be your talking point of the evening.'

'For those who the internet hath brought together, let no man put asunder...'

"This is definately the last time I arrange a date over the internet..."

"We hooked up on one of those 'buoy meets girl' sites."

'To learn more about me, swipe my forehead with your smart phone.'

"He's in his late somethings, but he's cute."

"Swipe left." Henry VIII

"It's our third date, can we look at each other now?"

Blind date signage - ( the obscured sign reads SLOW)

Tinder for dogs

"I meet people all the time, but nothing ever seems to last."

"His online profile said he was a "silverback", but in fact, he was just old..."

'Well David Chuck, let's see your ideal partner...'