Dating Apps Pillows

"Put your profile pic on HotSquatch.com, what have you got to lose?"

"You'd be surprised at how often men still try to show me their penises."

"Eh, left."

"That whole internet dating thing....It killed me, I tell ya."

"Swipe left." Henry VIII

Today's love

'He was taller online!'

"On the internet you said you were 32."

"There's a woman on tinder called Melania Trump."

"I'm on Tinderhooks waiting to see what he's like."

"Guys are way too proud of their wattle."

cuPad

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

'Past performance is not an indication of future results.'

"This is the perfect way to watch movies if you love mosquitoes and having a cold, wet butt."

"Maybe the next one will be a singles cruise."

Life is for the birds.

"I'll bet your're a Taurus. Right?"

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"May I have this arythmic flail?"

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

Romance

"Jackie, why does your relationship status read ‘capitulated to’ me?!"

So Close..

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

'It was love at first sight, although he was very pixilated and I was out of focus'

I'm looking for a man who can meet my needs - Cream meringue master-chef.

"When you say that love is in the air, you're referring to the smells from the food trucks, right?"

Right click for yes...

"You should be sniffed, and often, by someone who knows how."

"I met him on an online dating site. He was on their 'return' section."

"Like I could date a guy from Notre Dame."

"I can't decide if we're good people who are bad at communicating, or monsters who communicate perfectly."

'Cow in love'