Dating Apps Pillows

"Put your profile pic on HotSquatch.com, what have you got to lose?"

"You'd be surprised at how often men still try to show me their penises."

Online Dating Tip 1: Don't Get Angry

"Eh, left."

"That whole internet dating thing....It killed me, I tell ya."

"Swipe left." Henry VIII

Today's love

'He was taller online!'

"On the internet you said you were 32."

"There's a woman on tinder called Melania Trump."

"I'm on Tinderhooks waiting to see what he's like."

"Guys are way too proud of their wattle."

cuPad

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

'Past performance is not an indication of future results.'

"I'll bet your're a Taurus. Right?"

"This is the perfect way to watch movies if you love mosquitoes and having a cold, wet butt."

"Maybe the next one will be a singles cruise."

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"May I have this arythmic flail?"

Life is for the birds.

So Close..

I'm looking for a man who can meet my needs - Cream meringue master-chef.

Give us a drink that says "we're in love." Oh no, not again. Today's Special. Latte + 1hr web $12.50. We're back together. We're celebrating. Give us my darling pudding pie's favorite drink. A cinnamon mocha latte with a peppermint lollipop swizzle stick. Excuse me?! That is not my favorite drink ... dear. My favorite drink is a cinnamon mocha latte with a spearmint lollipop swizzle stick ... dear. I am so sorry ... snookums. How could I have possibly been so heartless and thoughtless as to con

'It was love at first sight, although he was very pixilated and I was out of focus'

Romance

Speed Dating for Turtles

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

"Jackie, why does your relationship status read ‘capitulated to’ me?!"

"When you say that love is in the air, you're referring to the smells from the food trucks, right?"

Right click for yes...

"You should be sniffed, and often, by someone who knows how."

'Cow in love'