Joining A Dating App Pillows

"Are you 'distinguished connoisseur of offbeat eating establishments'?"

'It was love at first sight, although he was very pixilated and I was out of focus'

'And she's got to have implants out to here.'

"Oh I have plenty of sex appeal. It's all here in my bank baalance."

"That whole internet dating thing....It killed me, I tell ya."

"You looked a lot bigger on your dating profile."

Today's love

cuPad

'Sorry, this isn't that kind of agency. We determine the age of old fossils, not arrange dates for them.'

"Wow! That guy is REALLY good at 'Speed Dating!'"

Cat Love Ads: "Are you; 'Stubborn, lazy, unfaithful and psychopathic...with no sense of humour?""

"Wanna get pigeon holed?"

"We probably shouldn't cuddle."

"I know that on-line dating service claims a 90% success rate, but let's face it, Henry, we're in that other ten percent!"

'I know I said you could take me home but I didn't mean to your place!'

'We met online, but we don't seem able to take our relationship to the next level.'

'I guess we're both out of luck. You like girls with big boobs, and I like a man with brains and halfway decent looks.'

Captain Ahab receives a Dick pic

Boyfriend Shirt.

'I'm afraid we don't have any gentlemen on hand right now -- how about a good old boy?'

'He was taller online!'

"If he were just 8 inches taller, 20 years younger,10 times more mature and a million dollars richer, he'd be perfect."

'For those who the internet hath brought together, let no man put asunder...'

"We hooked up on one of those 'buoy meets girl' sites."

Tinder for dogs

"Swipe left." Henry VIII

"His online profile said he was a "silverback", but in fact, he was just old..."

"I meet people all the time, but nothing ever seems to last."

"It's our third date, can we look at each other now?"

Blind date signage - ( the obscured sign reads SLOW)

'En-counter'

"To be honest you're not what I was expecting. Your profile on the dating app said you were a small business owner."