Dating App Skeptic Pillows

Life is for the birds.

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

'And she's got to have implants out to here.'

"Oh I have plenty of sex appeal. It's all here in my bank baalance."

cuPad

"You looked a lot bigger on your dating profile."

Today's love

"That whole internet dating thing....It killed me, I tell ya."

"I thought he was into fitness, but his 'fitness tracker' turned out to be a flea and tick collar."

"Wow! That guy is REALLY good at 'Speed Dating!'"

'I fu*@!Ng hate you!!!'

"Wanna get pigeon holed?"

"To be honest, I'm a little surprised the dating service matched us up."

'I know I said you could take me home but I didn't mean to your place!'

"Bill and I hate the same books."

'I'm afraid we don't have any gentlemen on hand right now -- how about a good old boy?'

"You must believe me, Jane. I have excellent narrative skills."

"Did you notice the smirk on his face when he said 'enjoy'?"

'He was taller online!'

James and Sarah had no chance of sex with antibiotic resistant gonorrhea keeping them apart

"You weren't playing hard to get! You were scared of commitment!"

'For those who the internet hath brought together, let no man put asunder...'

"We hooked up on one of those 'buoy meets girl' sites."

"This is definately the last time I arrange a date over the internet..."

'I hate singles bars. It's like window shopping...you know, looking at fancy clothes on a bunch of dummies.'

"I hate these dating sites. What ever happened to meeting a guy on a shrub, laying a couple hundred eggs, and then biting off his had while he's watching sports center.'

Tinder for dogs

"Swipe left." Henry VIII

"It's our third date, can we look at each other now?"

Looking For Love In All The Wrong Places.

"I meet people all the time, but nothing ever seems to last."