Using Dating Apps Pillows

'I'm afraid we don't have any gentlemen on hand right now -- how about a good old boy?'

'It was love at first sight, although he was very pixilated and I was out of focus'

'And she's got to have implants out to here.'

"Oh I have plenty of sex appeal. It's all here in my bank baalance."

cuPad

"You looked a lot bigger on your dating profile."

Today's love

"That whole internet dating thing....It killed me, I tell ya."

I'd invite you in, but my husband, my boyfriend and my python are all very jealous.

'Sorry, this isn't that kind of agency. We determine the age of old fossils, not arrange dates for them.'

"I want to be upfront. At this point, I'm only looking for a casual hookup of Frankenstein."

"Wow! That guy is REALLY good at 'Speed Dating!'"

"Wanna get pigeon holed?"

"We probably shouldn't cuddle."

'I know I said you could take me home but I didn't mean to your place!'

'I guess we're both out of luck. You like girls with big boobs, and I like a man with brains and halfway decent looks.'

'We met online, but we don't seem able to take our relationship to the next level.'

"If he were just 8 inches taller, 20 years younger,10 times more mature and a million dollars richer, he'd be perfect."

James and Sarah had no chance of sex with antibiotic resistant gonorrhea keeping them apart

'He was taller online!'

You're 22 hours early, Lance. I thought I was two hours late. Which do you prefer?

Captain Ahab receives a Dick pic

Boyfriend Shirt.

'For those who the internet hath brought together, let no man put asunder...'

"This is definately the last time I arrange a date over the internet..."

"We hooked up on one of those 'buoy meets girl' sites."

Online Dating Tip 1: Don't Get Angry

"It's our third date, can we look at each other now?"

"I meet people all the time, but nothing ever seems to last."

Tinder for dogs

"Swipe left." Henry VIII

"His online profile said he was a "silverback", but in fact, he was just old..."

Blind date signage - ( the obscured sign reads SLOW)

Courtship versus Tinder

'En-counter'