Online Dating Veteran Pillows

'If you meet someone online who says he's a 22 year old software millionaire who looks like Hary Styles. He's really unemployed, 45, and lives with his mother!'

ACME COMPUTER DATING SERVICE, 'She should be attractive, intelligenty, charming, and funny, or best offer.

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

'It was love at first sight, although he was very pixilated and I was out of focus'

Right click for yes...

"I met him on an online dating site. He was on their 'return' section."

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

"I hope he has skeletons in his closet."

"We met through the personals. We both were seeking someone 'Rubenesque'."

'Everybody on the internet now knows I'm a dog, so I'm pretending to be a cat.'

'Of all the women who responded to my dating profile, you had the best emoticon.'

'Jane, cancel all my appointments for the rest of the week.'

"Here's one, Matey! 'Must Love Parrots.'"

"You may now kiss the bride."

INTERNET MARRIAGE.

'I was attracted to you but your online photo, but now that I've seen you in High-Def...'

"Ooo... she sounds nice... 'I enjoy burying myself in the sand and sideways walks on the beach.'"

"That whole internet dating thing....It killed me, I tell ya."

cuPad

"Everybody meets online these days."

"You looked a lot bigger on your dating profile."

"Then again, an honest profile picture would not have got me a wonderful 'Duck Confit with a Chocolat Creme Brulee.'"

Today's love

Dating - "Oh, and she must have a sense of humour."

'Okay, but not in person -- I prefer on-line dating.'

'Your website or mine?'

"Don't take this the wrong way, Howard, but I'd like to go back to having an on-line relationship."

Horny Nanny Seeks Lonely Goat Herd.

"Your online profile says you like to foxtrot."

"I don't remember him or the meal or what movie we saw. All I remember is I wore the right jeans."

"Our online romance needs fresh start. I think it's time to hit 'ctrl', 'alt', 'delete'."

'Would you like to come in for a rejection?'

"We met the old fashioned way – online, in a chat room."

'He's narrating it, I just know it.'