Dating Scene Aficionado Gifts

"Been there. Done him."

I want to thank you for coming back to my place to see my etchings, Elaine, but I have a confession to make. I don't really have any etchings. I have an Etch-a-Sketch. !

"Call me?"

"You don't know me well enough to not care how I look."

"I'm just saying. This would be even MORE romantic if we couldn't see in the dark."

"She's just being Koi."

"We met through the personals. We both were seeking someone 'Rubenesque'."

'I really can't stay for dessert. Why don't you stay and DVR the rest of the date for me?'

"Darling, wait until you taste the new year's menu I have ordered for us!"

Mantis Love

"Most women find me too cutthroat."

I'm your girlfriend and best friend so I get twice as many slices

"I'll be honest with you, I've been around the block a few times."

'Can Anna come out and ride?'

Drive in movies.

"I opened the last of the emergency wine."

Today, proud and accomplished the career woman re-enters the dating world, ready at last to meet the man of her dreams. . .

"Yes, he was very nice, Mom, but he had to cut the date short because it was... 'report card time'!"

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

"You lack spontaniety."

"Sorry I'm late: my parents insisted I wear protection on our first date, so I stopped to buy a flea-collar..."

Dating - "Oh, and she must have a sense of humour."

"That whole internet dating thing....It killed me, I tell ya."

Banana Smoothie

'He had bulging muscles and a wallet to match!'

Tasty.

Biological Cuckoo clock

"I'm experiencing bouts of heavy breathing and dizziness when I'm speed dating!"

"It's the wine talking. I stopped speaking to you twenty minutes ago due to lack of interest."

"Since my divorce I thought I'd never laugh again. Then I noticed your toupee."

'That's the last time I'm sitting in the front row!'

'I'm developing a foot fetish.'

"Your profile said you were a dog."

Ostrich Bar

"Ideally, I'm looking for a guy who can make me smile."