Matchmaking Admirer Pillows

"She didn't know what she was saying, Mr Kalish. Please believe me."

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

"Sure, it's more efficient. But I still miss shooting the arrows."

"You don't know me well enough to not care how I look."

Love is in the air...

"And there was I thinking you'd been Beta tested."

'Don't let the photo put you off, it was taken when he was under the spell of a wicked witch.'

An old-time engineer enters the cockpit on a flight.

'I really can't stay for dessert. Why don't you stay and DVR the rest of the date for me?'

"We met through the personals. We both were seeking someone 'Rubenesque'."

"Here's one, Matey! 'Must Love Parrots.'"

"Have you tried carbon dating?"

Love Birds love just being together

"When the dating agency said you were full of beans..."

"Yes, he was very nice, Mom, but he had to cut the date short because it was... 'report card time'!"

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

"You lack spontaniety."

Dating - "Oh, and she must have a sense of humour."

'Sir, you wanted an affectionate date capable of long term friendship...you said nothing about being allergic to fleas.'

'Fred, don't you think you're over doing it a bit?'

"She says you sound like 'fun'!"

"I'm experiencing bouts of heavy breathing and dizziness when I'm speed dating!"

Biological Cuckoo clock

Ostrich Bar

"I don' want another weather forcaster - they're too unpredictable."

"Your profile said you were a dog."

"Ideally, I'm looking for a guy who can make me smile."

Acme Dating Service

Alligator Bars

'Are you ready to get hurt again?'

When kissing a woman, try not to burp.

"So, next week, if it's okay with our wives, wanna have another playdate?"

Women's Idea of Sharing/Men's Idea of Sharing.

My personal ad specifically said I was a "dog person who enjoys walks on the beach."

'You remind me of my ex-ex-ex.'