Matchmaking Admirer Pillows

"She didn't know what she was saying, Mr Kalish. Please believe me."

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

"Sure, it's more efficient. But I still miss shooting the arrows."

"You don't know me well enough to not care how I look."

Love is in the air...

"And there was I thinking you'd been Beta tested."

"We met through the personals. We both were seeking someone 'Rubenesque'."

An old-time engineer enters the cockpit on a flight.

'Don't let the photo put you off, it was taken when he was under the spell of a wicked witch.'

'I really can't stay for dessert. Why don't you stay and DVR the rest of the date for me?'

"Have you tried carbon dating?"

"Here's one, Matey! 'Must Love Parrots.'"

"Yes, he was very nice, Mom, but he had to cut the date short because it was... 'report card time'!"

Dating - "Oh, and she must have a sense of humour."

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

Love Birds love just being together

"You lack spontaniety."

"When the dating agency said you were full of beans..."

Biological Cuckoo clock

'Sir, you wanted an affectionate date capable of long term friendship...you said nothing about being allergic to fleas.'

"I'm experiencing bouts of heavy breathing and dizziness when I'm speed dating!"

"She says you sound like 'fun'!"

'Fred, don't you think you're over doing it a bit?'

"Ideally, I'm looking for a guy who can make me smile."

"I don' want another weather forcaster - they're too unpredictable."

Ostrich Bar

"So, next week, if it's okay with our wives, wanna have another playdate?"

'You remind me of my ex-ex-ex.'

When kissing a woman, try not to burp.

Women's Idea of Sharing/Men's Idea of Sharing.

Acme Dating Service

'Are you ready to get hurt again?'

Alligator Bars

A Tree Grows In . . . Wherever.