Matchmaking Fan Pillows

'And she needs to be a complete bitch.'

'I've got a moth who's very keen to meet a light bulb.'

Never say you don't have a girlfriend.

"She's just being Koi."

'Don't let the photo put you off, it was taken when he was under the spell of a wicked witch.'

"Here's one, Matey! 'Must Love Parrots.'"

Lovers

'Ok, Bachelor number 2: What's your idea of a perfect first date?'

'Fred, don't you think you're over doing it a bit?'

'The Cup Final's just starting-think I should wake him?'

'The coalition of the willing.'

"AI can now scan dating sites and find your best match."

"'Single'? With this kind of income? Oh, have I got a dependant for you!"

'But how can we be sure the dating service didn't make a mistake?'

"I'm not looking for Mr.Right, Just Mr. Swipe-right!"

'I'm afraid we don't have any gentlemen on hand right now -- how about a good old boy?'

'Don't rush me! I need some time to process everything.'

"We're becoming very similar in a lot of ways."

"You want to see me, Boss?"

"He's in his late somethings, but he's cute."

His And Her T-shirts

Ventrilamatch.com

'No need to put my details in darlin'... You're the girl for me!'

'I know it's an early kick off but this is ridiculous!'

"I think they'll be perfect together. He's a journalist and she's a complete composite."

"She didn't know what she was saying, Mr Kalish. Please believe me."

'Hello? Help me out here. Would it kill you to show a little interest?'

Couple in Green

I love badminton.

"Apparently, those phones are more potent than my arrows."

'Trust me honey, Aunt Iris says he's a Prince!'

'I'm waiting for the right introduction agency to come along.'

'Oh sure, Rupert's lovely, but his mate's a total slime-bag.'

'I'd like to meet a girl--', 'Oh, a homophobe, eh?'

'He should be sensitive, but not overly sensitive ��' except to my needs.'