Quirky Match Seeker Pillows

'The dating website just asked for a recent photo. It didn't say it had to be one of me.'

Love at First Sight

On my list of outdoor pursuits I put skinny dipping way ahead of this.

"Oh, God, no, please, no, God, no..."

"I don't understand it! My nerd detector's going crazy!"

"Ooo... she sounds nice... 'I enjoy burying myself in the sand and sideways walks on the beach.'"

"The way you look at me, Craig... you really see me."

"She says you sound like 'fun'!"

"Your online profile says you like to foxtrot."

Woman finds sensitive mechanic to date.

"I'm not very good at sex, but what do you say to eight hours uproarious sleep?"

'Romance-minded clown in hot pursuit of woman'

"I like anything but long walks on the beach."

Here's one for you... she likes long lurches in the moonlight, scared of fire... enjoys terrorizing villages...

'I think I met Frank at the circus.'

"Well, Arnold, it's been fun."

Sinlge-white-male seeking single-female who enjoys, silence, long long walks, and scorpions.

"Here's one - 'Few-bricks-short-of-a-load seeks One-our-out-of-the-water.'."

'Single Heating and Cooling technician in search of intelligent, attractive woman. Send picture of your furnace & AC.'

"Okay. So, apart from being a very shy ventriloquist, is there anything else you can tell me about him?"

"I'm a fancier of dogs and interesting men."

'Aunt Val's pretty cool. . . Kind of hot actually. . . for an older lady.'

A businessman watches as a girl walks past carrying a balloon with his face on it.

"So tell me again where you're from."

'You must be Olivia.'

'And to think that only yesterday I was a lonely scientist and you were a failed experiment!'

Symbiotic Connections

'Oh, come on, Theima - for once in your life do something wild and crazy.'

'Are you ready to be the winners?'

"In a world of beefcake, I'm dating tofu."

At Saltwater Sweeties Dating Service

Face painting vs bottom painting

"Damn. The minute I eat a stink bug, in walks Mr. Wonderful!..."

"Would you consider yourself creamy or crunchy?"

'Well. I gotta admit, she did say in her profile that she's an old-fashioned girl!'