Odd Match Seeker Pillows

Sinlge-white-male seeking single-female who enjoys, silence, long long walks, and scorpions.

"Well, isn't that embarrassing."

"Oh, God, no, please, no, God, no..."

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

'I was attracted to you but your online photo, but now that I've seen you in High-Def...'

"We have to stop meeting like this – people are starting to talk ‘psychiatric ward.’"

"Ooo... she sounds nice... 'I enjoy burying myself in the sand and sideways walks on the beach.'"

"From the gentleman at the end of the bar. Again."

'I was wondering if you could take this box of squirrels and make something cool with them, like a wolf?'

As luck would have it the hunchback's blind date turned out to be a hunchbelly!

'I know I said you could take me home but I didn't mean to your place!'

"Well, Arnold, it's been fun."

"Here's one - 'Few-bricks-short-of-a-load seeks One-our-out-of-the-water.'."

'Aunt Val's pretty cool. . . Kind of hot actually. . . for an older lady.'

"Okay. So, apart from being a very shy ventriloquist, is there anything else you can tell me about him?"

'Mandy is playing cupid again!'

Dating site - buy a dog.

"Having a dog is great for meeting more dogs."

"I just wish it wasn't so hard to meet a nice guy with a good sense of humour who believes in all the same conspiracies that I do."

'I know she's not much to look at, but neither are you!'

"Are you; 'Obedient, fun-loving and loyal...with a liking for licking his testicles...?'"

I love badminton.

Lost Property: "How can I help?"

"The computer appears to have matched you up with yourself Mr Narcissus"

'You've been matched with a pub in Wigan' (to a man at a dating agency).

'I'll check, but I'm pretty sure we don't have anybody quite that desperate right now.'

Ballskeeper

Colin had yet to get the hand of internet dating.

"he was a computer error of the Computer Dating Service"

Personal Ad.

"Okay sir.I've fed your personal profile into the computer,and your ideal partner should look something like..."

"Here we match people by their hatreds. It's a much stronger bond."

'You want a 'Paris Hilton' lookalike, do you? -- You seem more like the 'Motel 6' type.'

'I always give the shy guys a 'booster shot'.'

'Do I know you?'